No visitors at the hospital

Didn’t see my first GC until he was 3 months old as he was in Australia.

But I agree with others about all this ‘bonding’ nonsense nowadays.

‘Skin to skin’ etc.

Far too much made if it all, 50 years ago you managed to ‘bond’ perfectly well without all this hoo haa.

I can understand how difficult this must be for you but I think you will have to accept the situation

My first GC was born at home and I was invited to visit within hours.

On the other hand when I had my own DD, I went into hospital at 27 weeks hardly had any visitors only DH for weeks, then when she was born after a traumatic few weeks and a difficult birth we were surrounded by visitors in the first few days. I found it so stressful

Please respect the parents on this, you have so many years of joy ahead of you ❤️

I'm so excited for a friend with her first grandchild on the way, when she never expected to be a gran. Even though she lives many miles away, in these days of facetime, she may well see more of her grandchild's first few days than if she lived 100m down the road.

Hospital stays are now so short I am sure you will see baby soon. 55 years ago when I had my first baby only my mum was allowed to visit other than DH. With my DDs all and sundry turned up, fashions change.
Have fun soon

I think “heartbroken” and “joy is gone” are massive, massive over-reactions to what is merely a disappointment.

Life must be very difficult for you if such a minor thing sends you into such a massive spiral.

I sincerely hope that all goes well with the birth and that you see your son, DIL and grandchild happy and well within a few days.

Not everyone is that fortunate.

Claremont

You really really have to take a step (a few actually) back and let them be as they wish. Being so pushy and controlling will not bode well in future, I am afraid. Sorry to be blunt.

This! You will be a grandparent not a parent. Their baby, their rules, you need to accept that now if you want a good relationship with them all.

There’s good advice here. It’s up to the new first time parents to make decisions from cradle onwards. Our role as grandparents is to adore their children and support the next generation of babies. It really isn’t all about us

Iam64

There’s good advice here. It’s up to the new first time parents to make decisions from cradle onwards. Our role as grandparents is to adore their children and support the next generation of babies. It really isn’t all about us

Yes, this. Hard as it may sound, this is their baby, not yours and although I understand how keen you may be to see your grandchild, you really need to be guided by their wishes.

Lathyrus3

I think “heartbroken” and “joy is gone” are massive, massive over-reactions to what is merely a disappointment.

Life must be very difficult for you if such a minor thing sends you into such a massive spiral.

I sincerely hope that all goes well with the birth and that you see your son, DIL and grandchild happy and well within a few days.

Not everyone is that fortunate.

My thoughts exactly.

You really need to address this before it eats you up and only you can effect a change to how you deal with it because if you get this wrong you will be the person who suffers.
Be grateful for the safe arrival for a healthy baby and be aware that your feelings are no longer centre stage. You have moved up a generation - they are the new parents, this is their little miracle.
Be there for them but let them know you will not crowd their space. Find out what help they will need and discreetly be ready to offer and do it their way.
As for visiting in hospital - my youngest D was out later the same day with her first baby! We did visit D2 as she had to stay in for a few days but she was in a ward with 3 other mums - and Dads - and it was pretty crowded. Some whole families insisted on flocking in which made it noisy, busy and far from restful for the new mums.
Some new mums can’t wait to show off their new baby, others may be exhausted, in discomfort, emotions and hormones all over the place.
Take your lead from them and start a wonderful journey as a loving and loved Gran- not an entitled mum.

After all, it had been ME my DD asked to be with her when a year earlier she had had a traumatic miscarriage and went to have it cleared from her womb

What an unnecessarily graphic way of saying she had a D &C .

You have so much to look forward too FirstTimeGMa so don't let something that you cannot change spoil it before it's even begun.

No response from the OP!
This story raises its head from time to time and always from a new poster.
I think it is just a story!

With all 3 of mine I was out within hours and had no time for visitors.

In that time I had to do a first wee, blood tests and an injections, had checks, all the numbing stuff was wearing off, I'd leaked and needed to change, I was learning to breast feed and the feeding for hours to get my milk in, having a wash, eat and that was just me! Baby needs checks, blood tests, getting dressed, their first poo and not forgetting the bloody bounty woman, then packing everything up and waiting to get signed.

Let them get home, it's not just about the baby, there's a new mom recovering too and being the most vulnerable she's ever been.

Salti

I think you are being unreasonable. Try and remember when you gave birth to your son. Even if it was an uncomplicated birth, did you really want to receive visitors within hours??

Yes, I had the most beautiful baby in the world and I couldn't wait to show him off. I was slightly calmer with the 2nd, 3rd and 4th ones but with the first I think I was a bit high.

The same thing happened to me. My daughter in law had a traumatic birth with guy before my son met her, 10 years previous and he was a bustard to her n baby. This time she wanted it private and special for herself, my son, her eldest son and new baby. I was crushed too, but I have the rest of my life. You just have to respect their wishes. They're not being deliberately spiteful. X

Whilst I'm sorry you are disappointed, I suggest you wait patiently. Wait to be invited, meanwhile perhaps send over takeaway, pay a cleaner.

The birth of a child is only for the mother and father. It's not for an audience. They'll just have to bide their time.

Sago

No response from the OP!
This story raises its head from time to time and always from a new poster.
I think it is just a story!

I had been thinking the same so I didnt reply.

I was crushed too

Why were YOU crushed?

The baby was healthy, his mum was healthy , your son (his dad) was a proud dad - what is there to be “crushed” about ?

If only some DM’s/MILs/grans would recognise it’s not all about you.

Yes, if only …🙄

I really have to agree with the general tone of the replies . When I was a new , young mother the last person wanted pushing in was my MinL . Even my own mother would have left us alone but then she was wise .

I`m another oddity then, like UTBB, I couldn`t wait for visitors to arrive and admire my babies. When I had baby number 2, my in-laws came to our house just after I got home, and I left the room to breast feed her. My MIL said "where are you going?" I said to feed the baby. She said "Sit yourself down, he`s seen titty before, haven`t you Pop?" Talk about blushing, lol!!

I was surprised to hear of concern over bugs being reason baby was not to be visited by wider family/friends in the early days. I thought babies were born with heightened immunity but not the case apparantly.

Congratulations and welcome to the world of grandparenting! Experience has taught me that how we imagine things to pan out, is usually not how it happens. I would try not to pre empt any of the key moments and always remind yourself that this is your grandchild, not your child. Of course grandchildren are special to us and much loved but we can’t build things up in our minds to make them the be all and end all of our lives. You will see your grandchild in time and probably in circumstances decided by the parents. Let that be, enjoy the time you do have and feel grateful for such joy.
Another little tip, if you’re into crafts etc, you can channel some of that love into making a little something for the baby while you’re waiting. I find it really helps to surround myself in hand knitted and crocheted monkeys, bunnies, blankets and booties. And they are always gratefully received