advice please

Is there a reason why your son doesn’t bring the grandchildren to visit you? Does he only have limited access to them?

What was your relationship with your son’s partner? Children benefit from contact with people who love them.
Relationship breakdowns can be very acrimonious or fairly civilised. We don’t know the details of this one perhaps you could expand?

Still get on well with ex-Partner but things are still quite difficult between her and my son. They share childcare 50/50. Don’t want to take sides. DS not happy about me taking the children so “she can go off and party” but he’s reluctant to make the journey himself - admittedly difficult by public transport.

is it possible for you to go to stay with either parent and spend some time in the GC's environment where your grandson could entertain himself and you could cook or make things with your grandaughter. they would both be much more relaxed.. and your DIL or son could work or do social activities

It’s so difficult and it sounds as though your son is hurting and the split may not have been instigated by him. He needs to understand that his children must be spared as much unhappiness as possible.
I wish you good luck, it sounds as though it maybe an uphill struggle.

Can you watch football on the tv with him or get him to teach you a computer game kids often like to think they are one up on grandma or pa and need to teach them something
I know you say he doesn’t like reading but there’s a lot of well known footballers written kids books could that be a way in to reading Does he like crafts you could make a football collage or make some cakes ( getting the cooking bit in) in the shape of his favourite computer game character or a football etc

"but he’s reluctant to make the journey himself "

This is a red flag to me. Your son needs to put his kids first, public transport or not

I would not expect the ex partner to cover this gap for him

How is your son making this breakup easier for the kids?

You say you would love to see more of them - compared to pre-breakup? Beware of your expectations

The gc are getting older and they will want to meet their friends instead of grandparents

The issue is your son here. He is the bridge to your gc

Yes, at 12 and 10 I expect the grandchildren have activities and friends who are much more exciting than grandparents. That’s life.

Advice please. My grandchildren's mum as stopped me from seeing my grandchildren. I was seeing them daily and having them over at weekends for sleep overs. Mum is using the kids as a weapon as she originally said she'd never stop me seeing them. Then with her mothers influence, she as said i can't see them and there's no reason behind it. I have been advised to write a letter to my grandchildren's mum asking her for me to see them and have sleep overs again. But i don't know how to start the letter and what to put in it...Please if anyone can help me as i'm extremely distraught. I don't know what else i can do 😭😭😭

Rugrats

Advice please. My grandchildren's mum as stopped me from seeing my grandchildren. I was seeing them daily and having them over at weekends for sleep overs. Mum is using the kids as a weapon as she originally said she'd never stop me seeing them. Then with her mothers influence, she as said i can't see them and there's no reason behind it. I have been advised to write a letter to my grandchildren's mum asking her for me to see them and have sleep overs again. But i don't know how to start the letter and what to put in it...Please if anyone can help me as i'm extremely distraught. I don't know what else i can do 😭😭😭

Rugrats - it might be better to start your own thread rather than posting on an existing one.

I was wondering where your son is in this situation? Can you not see the children during his parenting time?

Rugrats

Advice please. My grandchildren's mum as stopped me from seeing my grandchildren. I was seeing them daily and having them over at weekends for sleep overs. Mum is using the kids as a weapon as she originally said she'd never stop me seeing them. Then with her mothers influence, she as said i can't see them and there's no reason behind it. I have been advised to write a letter to my grandchildren's mum asking her for me to see them and have sleep overs again. But i don't know how to start the letter and what to put in it...Please if anyone can help me as i'm extremely distraught. I don't know what else i can do 😭😭😭

It’s unlikely you’re gonna keep seeeing then daily. That’s not realistic. Nor may be sleepovers if she’s no longer wanting it they aren’t your children. Why are you not seeing them on your sons time? It’s not realistic to expect t he ex to give up her time for his mum to see them.

Germanshepherdsmum

Yes, at 12 and 10 I expect the grandchildren have activities and friends who are much more exciting than grandparents. That’s life.

Yes as I am finding out with a 11 year old Grandson. I have had to back off and accept this. Its obvious he has more in common with his friends.

Can you find a game you can play online with him?

Can the granddaughter be put on atrain by dad and met by you?

I think the OP just might have sorted her problem.
She asked for advice *In December 2023

petra I suppose she may have - but may still be struggling. She needs to come back maybe...

my son can't see them either. There's no reason behind her decision and by rights she isn't supposed to be stopping any of us as no courts or anything is involved. I just like some advice what to put in a letter to her ☹️

Rugrats

Then your son needs to apply to court for contact with his children. How old are the kids?

petra

I think the OP just might have sorted her problem.
*She asked for advice *In December 2023*

@petra

I think people are responding to a new poster, Rugrats, who has a similar problem - although it would be better for her to start a new thread to avoid confusion with the OP.

so your son needs to get courts involved, to assert his right to contact with his child.
doesn't he ?

When our son and his partner separated she would change contact at short notice. She would ring and say bring child home early when child was having a sleepover with dad.. Child was 3 at this time. We saw him when dad had him which was sporadic. At every opportunity d's did the 2 hour round trip to pick him up and again to return him. Best thing ever was our son taking it to court to have access defined. She then got more difficult and used all sorts of delaying tactics.
When it eventually got to court the judge found for our son in most ways. She asked for full custody, judge refused and gave 50/50. It cost £1700 including a barrister for court. We paid the bill and ds paid us back at £100 per month. That was 4 years ago and there have been no major issues since. The best £1700 we ever laid out. We see our dgs who is now 7 every other weekend for Sunday dinner and his two cousins usually visit as well. Lots of football in the back garden.I

My advice -take it to court. Get a court order.

Rugrats read the support thread on the estrangement forum. You will find you are not alone .

Two different people posting under the same thread has given me a headache. Please post your own thread instead of hi- jacking someone elses.

Yes, it’s confusing. An older thread resurrected by Rugrats who has been advised to start a new one. Those not reading the whole thread don’t realize.