losing my three granddaughters and I'm crushed

I alwways find it a little strange when anyone here (or elsewhere), carry on about missing their g.children, if they move away. Surely, just the fact of having g.children, usually meams that an AC is moving away, etc. Yet they sre not mentioned

I suppose it depends on how much time you've spent with them, the more you have the more you'll miss them.

Smileless2012

I'm so sorry elaine .

Thank you Smileless2012 it is very hurtful. I actually thought of trying to be a surrogate grandmother . I have a friend in Devon in a very similar situation and she and her husband became surrogates to a single mum but sadly got robbed so that put me off and of course since covid, it hasn't been practical and now I am dealing with vax injury and various health issues so wouldn't be up to entertaining a very young child or baby. That's life, worse things happen at sea as they say

Thanks BlueBelle .

I’d absolutely side eye a parent who called their young children the loves of their life, best friends and copilots for life.

As much as I love my kids, the language hits my radar as smothering, and makes me uncomfortable, because that’s a LOT of expectation and pressure being placed on young children to meet an adult’s emotional needs.

Only if the OP has told his GD's they are the love of his life, his best friends etc. and how do we know if he has?

Smileless2012

Only if the OP has told his GD's they are the love of his life, his best friends etc. and how do we know if he has?

Because I’ve found that when people believe such things to be true, it impacts their behaviour.

Well Davmalk, as you've been told by almost everyone, suck it up, and stop whining. Lots of folk here (UK) have grand-kids in Australia or NZ, massively more inconvenient than the relatively short journey from California to Tenn.

If you end up with more time on your hands, find a charity to help, no shortage surely?! Oh, has it occurred to you that they moved due to your undue influence?!

I feel your sadness. My son and his family moved the other way. Tennessee to Cali. Although we did not have them living in our home we were only a 6 hour drive away. Which meant we could frequently meet halfway to bring them home with us for extended visits. Now that they're over 6 hours away by plane it's a different story. My sympathy is with you. Flights going from California to Tennessee are not cheap and the drive to an airport can be hours due to traffic. However if I were you I would seriously consider with your wife relocating also. You'll be so surprised at how much lower all living expenses are in Tennessee. I wish we had that option. Unfortunately moving from Tennessee to California is extremely expensive. We live very comfortably with excess for the things we love to do. But in California we would be at poverty level, it's that much more expensive. You'll find in retirement your money will go so much farther. Good luck. It does get easier with time but for me leaving them after a visit is very painful.

I find it very strange that someone posts something like this and then does not return to comment again on others' input.
I know that when I have posted before (about to do so again, on a separate post...) I hang around for days to read and learn from the wonderful collective wisdom on here.
Re. the actual post and issue: I can understand the pain when family moves away but would agree with many who've posted here that a few hours (domestic) flight away is not that terrible. Like many here, my son, DiL and baby GD moved to Australia recently and travel there is long and SO expensive. Nevertheless we keep in touch regularly via wattsapp messages and video. We have definitely not "lost" them, and we need to send them off with our love and support

davmalk has left the room!

I think a little part of my heart broke the day my daughter and her three young children left to go to New Zealand. Like the OP we had had a tremendous amount to do with th children from their births and we always helped our daughter with other things too. I understand that the OP feels devastated but a six hour flight is easily doable and he/they can keep in touch by WhatsApp, FaceTime and so on. Please don’t forget that children also feel grief and loss when they find the grandparents they have seen several times a week are suddenly not there. When my daughter left she cried and I cried and we clung to one another, but the children were excited because it was an adventure. But when we left New Zealand last February after a nine week visit, our granddaughter broke her heart and clung to me, because she then knew she wouldn’t see us again for so long.
Strong bonds can be maintained from the other side of the world. It just takes more effort. On Monday my daughter and her children will be arriving here for a visit, and then we’ll be going back to them after Christmas.

He is grieving. He wanted witnesses to his grief. Perhaps some empathy.