9 o’clock birthday invitation!

Don’t understand snowflake parenting, children adapt. They should work around us not us them. My gosh my children were getting on flights at 1.30am, driving threw the night to visit relatives. Teach children to be versatile adapt to situations not every routine has to be stuck in stone.

Hej - that's about the total of my Danish! Please don't apologise for your excellent English.
I do wonder how long this child naps for - is there not a lunch / afternoon time that would suit more people?

Absolutely agree.... I despair of some of todays parenting!!
Children rule the roost - now when it comes to my dog....

Must be a first child,wait till they have more,no schedules then !

What 9 am? Does the child nap for the rest of the day? I thought it was bad enough my DGC having their parties at 11 am, instead of 3pm!!

I would just go when you're ready. He might like a 1 to 1 meet up with you.

What is meant by five quarters? I think some people have taken it to mean 1 hour and 15 minutes

Does this interfere with your nap time?

Could you turn up in your pyjamas ready to nap with the Precious One?

Could you make this part of a “fun” day out for you both? This being just one stop off in your day?

What does your husband think as he IS their grandfather.
Are you perhaps being slightly unreasonable as you aren't their grandmother.

Love the idea of a breakfast party; what a great way to start the day!
Hope you enjoy it - and then you have the rest of the day to recover.

Missiseff

Tell them it's too early for you and you'll go after nap time

She wasn’t invited after nap time

queenofsaanich69

Must be a first child,wait till they have more,no schedules then !

Well that’s ridiculous

I know many of ny friends all had schedules for their children, even the 3rd.

It didn’t look the same as it did for number 1, but it was still a schedule

I'd have to have a prior engagement.

When you are the hostess of your own event, you set up the rules

If you are invited - you decide if the conditions are convenient for you

I cannot believe how many adults think a child's bday party should cater to the adults

It’s certainly an unusual time but it obviously fits in with them.
What I would say is that as a grandparent adult children may often behave with their children in ways you don’t like or approve of, but they are theirs at the end of the day.

I would make an effort to go, and if you cannot stay overnight beforehand, arrive when you can.

Children are tiny for such a short time and it’s nice to enjoy them before they get too old to bother so much about grandparents.

What does your husband think I wonder?

Anyway, in answer to the OPs original question about "project children" I think there is a happy medium between two extremes.

Children SHOULD be a focus in terms of their vulnerability, meeting their physical and emotional needs and supporting them as they develop and grow into hopefully well balanced and resilient adults. That focus can be achieved without completely ignoring the needs of others around them!

Regarding the party - I'm not really sure this is anything to do with "project children"! Its just what the parents think is best in this particular scenario for them and their children. If it was me I would go, enjoy it and leave when expected. But we are all different so each invited guest needs to decide for themselves whether the arrangements suit them or what their priorities are around attendance etc

My son at that age was up at 4.45am in the morning. For a child's birthday it's lovely to start a birthday day off with family? I would go, enjoy, take part and then reflect in future years ! Children love family get-togethers, know that family is always there for the important times in their lives. Is it really that difficult to get up early for one important day? ?

Set your alarm clock, get up and go, a breakfast party sounds fun - enjoy yourselves.

A couple of years ago we were invited to "Breakfast with Santa" with our three year old granddaughter, I think it was for 10am. So we got ourselves organised, stayed in a nearby hotel the night before, and had a great time.
As did our granddaughter, which was more to the point...

There are some quite unpleasant and negative views on this thread. I see why so many people find their parents and in laws hard to deal with! So judgemental about other’s parenting, I don’t expect opinions are hidden very well in some cases, either…

If you’re only 3/4 of an hour away, I don’t see what the problem is rather than upset the child’s routine, which may well make him/her crouchy on his/her birthday.

I think the issue is not essentially about the early start, it’s more about everyone having to fit into a rigid schedule that’s right only for one person. Perhaps the schedule could have been changed for one day to a more suitable time. It’s about being overly child centred at the expense of everyone else. I think it’s a valid concern.

The hosts have decided on the time of the party, because it suits them as well as their child. You can decide to go - or tell them” it doesn’t work” for you.

I can see this time of 9 am being good for young families, but not perhaps for older relatives. I would have invited older relatives to come later in the day, eg in the afternoon. Personally, I don't understand this obsession with parties with older relatives invited, but that is just me. I think young children would cope better without crowds of people around.

How I don’t know how a second or subsequent child can have rigid nap times. I know my second didn’t- he had to fit in with his older brother’s nursery and meal times.

I am going to give an alternate opinion. And yes, I am in the US so I am quite sure the grammar police with descend.

When my kids were little, I did everything I could to adhere to nap schedules. My oldest (still) sleeps horribly and missing a single nap would wreak havoc for days. That is not coddling a child, it was self preservation and if someone had judged my decision based on the viewpoint that I am coddling my child based on a time for a party, they would have been uninvited. A tired cranky birthday child will not make for a very fun party for either the birthday child nor the guests.

The polite thing to do IMO is to decline if it doesn't work for you.