Wondered whether it's ok

It seems perfectly reasonable to me. They can’t so easily leave the baby behind but at least won’t have the toddler to accommodate on a much needed treat outing for mum’s birthday. The toddler is not even old enough to understand what a birthday is let alone when it is. She won’t miss what she doesn’t know about and probably there will be some kind of celebration which includes her at home. Given the opportunity I would have done the same.

This sort of situation caused arguments with my son and DIL.
I looked after DGD 2 days a week but found out DIL was sometimes not at work but off out with her friends for lunch or the spa!
Really used to upset me as she never said, and I found out when a mutual friend saw her out and about.
OP I think they are taking advantage of you. They have 2 children now not one.

I would make sure that the older girl gets to celebrate her Mum's birthday by inviting them all to have tea with you when they come to pick her up. Then you could spend the day with her decorating a card, threading up paper bunting, blowing up balloons, decorating a cake etc to make the day special.

A mooch round garden places and lunch might be your GD's idea of hell. Let her keep her routine.

It is odd, but nbest not to say anything as it can only cause trouble.

Very disappointed with this thread. Lots of judgement about if the parents should be doing it or not. How unkind.

Do you think everyone should just pretend instead of answering the question honestly, then?

I agree with You bungle

The babysit is now 8 weeks old. When is your DD anticipating takings on the role of mother to your GD again? I would be fuming at the way you're GD is being excluded from her family. Can you perhaps babysit the 8 week old and encourage the parents to take the 2.5 year old for the birthday treat day. Think I would also be giving hint about stopping the support, you're DD and husband have 2 children, not 2 when it's convenient.

4allweknow

The babysit is now 8 weeks old. When is your DD anticipating takings on the role of mother to your GD again? I would be fuming at the way you're GD is being excluded from her family. Can you perhaps babysit the 8 week old and encourage the parents to take the 2.5 year old for the birthday treat day. Think I would also be giving hint about stopping the support, you're DD and husband have 2 children, not 2 when it's convenient.

I kept DS with the childminder 2 days a week when i was on maternity leave with DD. And then both of them when DD2 arrived.

Can you please explain at which point over every morning, every weekend and every night i wasn't taking on the role of mother

I would have thought they would have had a family day out they have the evening to there selves once the children are in bed.

once the children are in bed

The baby is only 8 weeks old!

Tried to bite my tongue but had to respond to 4allweknow that's the most overly dramatic response to a small child spending her usual time with Grandma while her parents have a couple of hours to themselves.
For goodness sake the child has not been abandoned or cast out of the family. Words fail me ( almost)

I understand what people are saying about a baby being no trouble but a 2and half year old needing more attention etc but that’s the sacrifice you make when you decide to become parents isn’t it? From the day they are born you make your arrangements around them. I can’t imagine going out for the day to celebrate my birthday without one of my children when they were small. I’d have maybe taken the children out and had fun with them during the day. Then asked grandma to babysit, so hubby and I could have a night out to celebrate.

There are some truly astonishing viewpoints on here, from people trying to dictate how young parents should use their time.
I'm glad not to be related to any of those who are being so judgemental.

Circumstances sometimes dictate that children can’t be treated equally at times. Some mothers, while on a second maternity leave continue to put the first child to nursery, even though they are at home.

It’s not the two year old’s birthday. The treat is for the mother.

Good heavens! I've just come back to look at this thread and can't believe how it has degenerated. No wonder young mums complain about their mothers/ mothers-in-law if we are so judgemental! We are talking about a new mother having a couple of hours out with her husband and baby on her birthday, leaving the toddler to have fun with Grandma!

exactly, GrandmaKT.

Why do you think that people having a different viewpoint is a degeneration of a thread?
Particularly when the whole point of the thread was to ask others what their view was?

Threads that degenerate get deleted, and there are plenty of those!

It seems a lot of drama to me. My daughter often left one GC or two, out of the four, with me, if she wanted to do something that wasn’t really suitable for them all.

No one seemed like they felt abandoned or cast out. ?

Parents haven’t got to be glued to all of their children 24/7.

The OPs daughter is going to lunch at a garden centre. A two year old is liable to get bored, and play up. She’s just had a baby, and it’s her birthday. It’ll be nice for her to (hopefully) have a nice relaxing lunch with her husband. Young babies are sleeping a lot at that age.

The toddler will probably enjoy being with nanny more anyway.

Garden places, not the most thrilling place for a 2.5 year old. She is used to going to and no doubt having fun at Grandma's house .....

Well even if no one else agrees I totally agree with you missA I couldn’t have taken one and leave the other at home it’s either all or none for me I wouldn’t in the least bit enjoy it

The little girl will know the baby’s gone with them and may feel quite left out and even a bit jealous

Not for me I was very conscious of treating all mine exactly the same

How do you all know she ll have a wonderful fun time with nanny what if shes grizzly and asking why she can’t go out for mums birthday too

The little girl won't even know that she is being excluded from the outing. Dad has asked gran to come earlier than usual, but this won't mean anything sinister to the child. She won't be there when her parents leave the house. Does she even know it's her mum's birthday? Grandma has her two days a week, the parents have her on five days. I simply cannot understand the almost hysterical reaction of certain posters on this thread.