Super Fun Grandad v Boring Granny

My grannies both died when I was about eight so I missed out on having them around.
It is amazing what children like about grandparents, they will see you both as different individuals. It is often the quiet moments that are the most precious!

Try making cakes with them, messy stuff like painting. But really just be you and don’t begrudge GD fun, you could always join in

BlueBelle

Ps he didn’t have a granddad and his dad died so I had to be the daft one

That’s sad ? but well done you.

I think. children appreciate that different people bring different things into their life. My mother was in her late 80s when my GD was born. A bit past doing the fun stuff and running about, but they formed a close bond, playing cards and talking. She also realised my mum was a safe place to deposit things when she was very young because unlike mummy,granny and the other adults she wouldn't get up and leave the item she had been trusted with. Sometimes children like to be active and sometimes they like to talk and be listened to. The fun may look more impressive but the quiet talking and interacting is just as important.

I'd say be true to yourself. Let them have fun with their grand dad and if you enjoy cooking then make delicious cakes they like, and other things. As you say they will know if you try to be something you are not. Enjoy them enjoying themselves.
It's the love that counts.

Bree16, we all have our roles. My husband was the fun dad and the kids just flocked to him when he appeared. They'd come back to me when tired or hungry - as I was the quiet, practical one, working away in the background, predicting their needs and doing the routine, domestic stuff.

When he was terminally ill, he said he was glad it was him, as without me he wouldn't be able to cope. He died young and they were left with the boring, reliable, practical one. My grandchildren come to me for the same reasons, to cuddle, read a book or have a snack.

Imagine a world full of fun, energetic people - utter chaos!

Sparklefizz

Congratulations DiscoDancer.... how exciting!

Thank you Sparklefizz

It can be the strangest things that grandchildren remember.

My oldest two are only 8 and 10 now.
Even though they live nearby, we didn't see them in person for over a year because of covid. They were so pleased to finally see us again, and apparently the things that they had missed the most were - wait for it - the smell of our house, and my cuddly woolly jumpers .

OP, just be yourself. I doubt if the different type of fun that they have with Grandad will diminish how they feel about you, as long as they feel that you like/love them.

Bree16 Everyone brings something unique to a relationship and the one that you forge with your GC cannot be compared to anyone else's. Just be yourself; there will inevitably be times that your quiet, calming personality will be exactly what a child will want and need. So between you and your husband, you make perfectly balanced GPs.

You'll come into your own as they get older. I'm not a natural at fun things or even participating on a childish level with children, but I loved reading to them, talking about nature when out walking, and quieter activities. Just be yourself they will want you for restful, quiet and hopefully cuddly times.

I’m the only grandmother to both my sons and my daughters children but they all find me boring. DH is their step grandad but they all adore him. What saddens me is that I’m the one that thinks out in great detail things that they will enjoy but they never really understand the planning that goes into it. I think the only one that really understands how much I care about him is the oldest grandson who I spent a lot more time looking after when he was younger. I thought I was quite a fun mother so I don’t understand why it hasn’t translated to being a fun granny .

My husband looks after our GD every Wednesday, which I am very jealous of as I have to go to work! But they have an amazing bond and spend most of their time in garden learning about bugs birds plants etc.

But when I came in this week I got ‘grandma take me to William’ (horse in field by our garden) which was adorable as that’s becoming our thing, and feeding the fish too. There’s always a couple of things that can become YOUR thing to do with them. Go for walk learn about nature etc. Watch favourite film, reading books, cuddles and telling them about when their parents were little.

Enjoy them now they’re near to you ?

Your grandchildren are so young, Bree 16, and a loving, nurturing grandmother will surely be an important part of their lives. Lots of cuddles, reading, drawing, baking, gardening as well as trips to the park, library, pool and town and sleepovers! Enjoy.

Do have a relaxed lovely time with your grandchildren ,Bree16.
They grow so quickly, join sports clubs, make lots of friends at school and become more and more independent. Mine are now 28 and 26 and I sometimes ask them do you remember when we did this or that . They often say no , when was that ? I think the role of Gran changes as they grow .Enjoy it .

I agree - it’s team work! I do do fun stuff with our girls but am often more responsible for getting everyone fed etc.
We have lots of cuddles though and I generally do bedtime reading etc. when they sleep over. We’re both shattered when they go home!

As someone who never had a grandad in their GCs lives I am a bit concerned that people feel there has to be a divide in this. I've done fun stuff with all my DCs and DGCs. I can't pick them up and swing them round or run that fast anymore but I'm great at hide and seek and I'll be a pirate any time (although I do get taken prisoner which means I get a nice sit down!)

That's lovely news, Bree.
In my opinion, it's better for the grandchildren if the grandparents' "skills" complement one another.