Super Fun Grandad v Boring Granny

Also to add, my DD tells me that it's Granny that sets the traditions, Easter egg hunts, boxing day fun, picnics in the park, and they will, I am sure, love us and remember us equally when we are gone and they have grandchildren themselves

I empathise - all by DGC - 5 girls and a boy LOVE granddad, he's so fun and boisterous. They all, however, love Granny's cooking and fun mealtimes together. They also love overnight stays with bathtime and story time and cuddles, all Granny's remit. I don't join in their fun, well, not all the time, just don't have that much energy to be honest, but we talk such a lot and they love us equally, just for different reasons!

I have two grandsons, both grown up now, but when they were young we did lots of things together ;playing pirates, discovery walks and picnics in the parks. During school holidays we went to museums,enrolled on classes there, and then did theatre trips including the ballet and the opera.We did reading together, painting and baking . I don't think it matters whether they are boys or girls. You can have lots of
fun with your grandchildren by doing what suits you and by making your time together an adventure. Look to see what is on locally. I must admit we had loads to chose from as I live in west London but we still did quiet things too.

Just let the children lead the way. They will have quiet moments and you will come into your own. Try not to overthink it; you have a different sort of experience to offer.

Don't worry, they are both very young, all children react to silly ,mad behaviour. Grandpa's are supposed to be mad,l bet he wasn't when your own children were young. We were too worried that we'd get it wrong, too bothered about work/ money worries, now you can relax ,enjoy your grandchildren. You don't have to be the wild ,mad one, far too exhausting. When they are a bit older find a niche. What do you do best ? Sing ? Dance ? Read amazing stories? Cook ? I'm the one who makes the best chips/ the best roast potatoes, l make cakes,desserts and serve poppadoms and jelly for breakfast. The way to a man's heart... etc. Good luck find your own talent. They'll love and remember you that way.

Hi Bree16.
I was like that for years, but because his other Grandparents have a huge house, small holding, indoor swimming pool, tractors and animals etc.
However, my grandson has just started secondary school. We have the most amazing chats! He says it’s always a bit hectic at his other grandparents and he enjoys having calm chats about ‘important things’ with me. A quiet smile to myself as he said it.
We all have our part to play and your turn will come I’m sure.

At my mother's funeral my DS3 gave a very moving eulogy (written by DS1, who couldn't be there). Although the boys admired and respected my DF very much, this speech showed how much they had come to appreciate their Nanna who quietly stood in the background and provided food and comfort. Everyone was in tears and he could hardly speak at the end.

Like most posters have said, as a Gran, you find that the DGC all run to their grandfather first, but granny will get cuddles and have fun, too, but in a different way.

Make the most of what you can do with them whole you're still fit enough. You don't want them remembering you with your arms constantly in the washing up bowl, fiddling about in the kitchen or sweeping floors. Leave that until they've gone!

Be yourself. You sound like the sort of Grandmother who the children will gravitate to when they want to be quiet.

Old fashioned plasticine is a nice quiet way to engage the 4 year old. Just sitting and making coils you can turn into snails or snakes etc

I used to love go in to my grandparents I love them both so much and I spent more time with my grandad & felt closer to him, but purely because my gran was so busy with the household tasks as they were much more labour intensive& time consuming back then.I liked playing outdoor games with my grandad & gardening and going for walks with him & along with my gran,we used to play card games, dominoes & board games,do jigsaws etc. If I had alone time with my gran we used to do simple craft pictures on paper plates using things we'd cut out from old magazines & tart them up with glue & glitter, draw on a chalkboard, do some .simple bakes like jam tarts which were & still are my favourites I'd be allowed to roll out the pastry, cut them out and fill with jam or help whisk things with a rotary whisk while standing on a chair at the kitchen table,or whisk up angel delight for tea etc. There's all sorts of things you can do with your grandkids, together as a couple or as individuals. Grannies are never boring!

Same here. When we ring the doorbell we hear loud excited shrieks of "Grandad" (ours are 3 and 6 months). But my grandson comes to me for food & cuddles and calls for me if he wakes in the night. We enjoy cooking together and "arty" stuff like playdough and painting. The baby just has the most gorgeous smile for anyone who talks to him!

Just be a support for your husband, as and when he will need support.

Don't worry they will soon work out what you are each good for. Just don't make it competitive they will twig and play you against each other .

I have just the same ...if I go to see them by myself the first question is where’s Gabba? But just like someone else said - when they are hurt, hungry, want a story, want a drink, want a quiet chat, they come to me. I always take a few activities with me - colouring books, stories, sticker books, games , jigsaws, stuff that is easily transported - just to fill in times when they need something new to interest them - just children being children - love them and don’t worry-

When GS was about 4 he fell and hurt himself. He ran straight past the fun grandparents and into my arms!

I used to play the games on ceebeebies with them when they were little. Also happy families. The now 14 year old asked to play it recently! I also bought some very basic and cheap games from Lidl/Aldi recently that went down very well with the 3 year old. Matching colours and numbers etc.
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Jealous of your husband? How sweet!

Don't worry. The kids will visit your household, not the pair of you individually. They won't score you against each other.

I look at it more this way, Grandad is there to do stupid daredevil things in the name of fun, and I am there to pick up the pieces, mend the scrapes, mop up the blood, wring out wet clothes and remind him of his age! I am the (strictly neutral) shoulder to cry on when he’s fallen out with his parents; the one he emails pieces of school work to when he’s had good marks; the one whose kitchen he knows he can make a hell of a mess in and no-one is going to shout at him. We all have our part to play, our moments in the sun. Revel in them; they grow up too soon.

I often feel the same, but I know my GC love me. If they need anything they come to Nana. I always say they like Grandad best and my DDs say it’s not true, but he IS more fun than me. I’m just myself when I’m with them, I read, bake, chat etc with them, and I feel they’re all secure with me and do love me. I’m the one who did nappy changes, bath times, meals etc. Just let things go as they need to and the children will love you for your lovely self.

My grandchildren don’t have a grandad as both grannies are widowed. I enjoy swimming so when I visit I go swimming with them. The one thing I have established as ‘mine’ is that I take them to a cinema on a Saturday morning. They are a bit older than your grandchildren (cinema started about four now five and eight). As others have said look for things that you like doing and develop activities that you enjoy doing with them.

I suggest you offer to pick the older up from preschool or school when you can. Ask him how it went and really praise his efforts he will soon begin to open up about all the good and occasional bad things there and you will become closer. My eldest gs is 5 and I know more about his school life than the rest of the family!

When I used to be allowed access to my 3DGC I used to do all sorts with them as did my DH! one thing I did that he passed on was making up scary stories! Obvs not too scary but with what I call 'mild peril'!! About woodland creatures and their adventures in Bimble Wood, a made up place. They were enthralled, any stories made to sound exciting or mysterious gets their interest, and they asked all sorts of questions! Or you can use any skills you have to either entertain or better-include them.something different from grandpa's escapades! Good luck!

My DD is 29 and has been poorly. She said the other day “I wish I could go back to those days when Nan would bake fresh rolls for me with anchor butter and Grandad would cuddle me” She was thinking back to being poorly while I was at work. So you see, we quiet Grandmas have a way of showing our love that gets remembered. Just be you and show them love as only you can. That what makes us unique to our grandchildren

My DH is of the belief (old man style) children and housework and cooking are for me, his jobs are gardening and taking the dog for walks. I usually entertain our two GC, unless they decided to pester DH. We watch TV, read a few books, look at reading books, writing books or play act. GD is 5, GS is 7 but has Down Syndrome and loves counting.

I think that grandparents work in tandem - OH is the one that will be doing the energetic things like kicking a ball , playing games etc.
You, however can be the nurturing one that they come to when they are upset and need a cuddle, the one that reads them stories, cooks with them and the one they come to when they later on want advice about girlfriends that they can't talk to their parents about!
There's no "fitting in" you each have a part to play in their lives, that is equally important.

Don’t worry. It will all fall in to place. They will remember Grandad because he was fun, but they will remember you because you love them, you nurture them, you are there when they need you. Even as adults believe me.

Congratulations DiscoDancer.... how exciting!