Where to live?

It's your daughters decision to move where she is moving to and quite rightly as an adult she has made that choice - the same as she did not to move when you did.
It might be a different thing if she had asked you to move to help with the childcare, but I would guess she had already thought that out before making plans.
It is now time for you and your partner and sorry, but you have to let your daughter go - that is unless you are planning to spend the rest of your life trailing around after her for the rest of your life !
Your GC can come and stay when it is allowed and vice versa, you and your partner can visit also when allowed.

First consider yourself hugged,lots of people want to help you,
now make a list pro’s and con’s———— I think what hurts the most is thinking of your grandchild far away.Have you got good friends to discuss this with or your Mum.Maybe consider counseling talking it through with an outsider may help.
Obviously you are,rightly,very hurt by your partner,hope this helps——- be kind to yourself,maybe see your Dr,incidentally if your iron is low it can make you feel down.
Good luck,thinking of you

Initial reaction is that your partner and your mother should take priority. Your daughter and grandson are still young, and their life is still evolving, and they may yet move again. Also if you move to be close to them, and then aren’t happy, your daughter will feel very responsible for you, and maybe a little guilty, not what you’d want I sure. Visiting is easy in this day and age, and it would give you and your partner somewhere new to spend a few days while visiting them, and with both you and your mother in the same area they’re always going to have a reason to visit you as well. The one caveat however, is that if you are in anyway not happy in your current relationship ignore everything I’ve said, and rethink your plan with that in mind. Good luck. ?

Personally I would not move if my daughter was moving ...ha ha ...she hasn't spoken to me for 14 years.....but I have friends who have sold up, moved to be near one or other of their children .............then in a couple of cases the children have moved either to a different county, or even country and there is no way my friends can afford to move any more ! Some were visiting, say once a year, the USA, France, Spain ....but now of course they cannot see their children or grandchildren, as can no one ......one lady in particular is 96 and very lonely ...doesn't do Skype or Video calling and has had enough .........one whose son and family live in Australia would welcome her now she is a widow, BUT the Oz government would not, as they are afraid, as she gets older she would become a drain on their resources. The family assured them this would not be the case, as she would sell her house in the UK and live with the family, therefore would probably have enough money to pay healthcare, etc but still the answer is no .......its a very difficult decision. As for your partner saying NO .....would he/she have a say in selling the house you are in now ...if he/she is a partner rather than a spouse, and you leave the home, what would be the position as regards selling the home ? ...some difficult questions to answer ...on the one hand you could be ecstatically happy, on the other you may be alone and miserable if your daughter moves on .....consider it carefully and weigh up all the pros and cons you can think of, and in the end there is only YOU who can make that decision, important as if in future you find it was a wrong move, then you will have no one to blame but yourself ......

Good luck to whatever you have decided to do and that your future is secure. I hope your partner cannot claim on your inheritance.

Thank you all so much. I really am so moved that you've been so generous with your time and your advice. My partner is my soul mate and I do love him so much. I told him that I'd sought advice on here and that overwhelmingly the consensus was that I was not being considerate and that I was not making the right choice. I've put my 'outburst down to covid + hormones for NOW. My daughter's moving end Feb and she's got her friends and her brother and his friends to help (I'm lucky they adore each other). I'm going up to her empty house to tidy up, as it's rented we also want to ensure she gets her deposit back. My covid jab is due shortly and hopefully it won't be too long before I can legally go and see them. My daughter has got a rental house (which I've agreed to pay 25% of as otherwise she couldn't afford to move). My sister is there and will be there, so all's working out. Since speaking to my partner in a less "confrontational" way he's a little less ardent in his stance too. So, all in all, I and we are in a much better place.
I really thank you from the bottom and even all of my heart for your support. I don't know any of you but feel such love is there, Thank you. Jackie xx