Anxiety in teenagers leading to anorexia

YES! I am a house parent in a boarding school. At least half of the girls have some level of eating disorder. Some are anorexic, some are bulimic, some crash diet and some do weird diets. The youngest with a problem is 12.

It is very scary. One thing I have been told is to observe and not comment, because otherwise they disguise the behaviour and then you really don't know what is going on.

This is so sad. I agree comments won't help because ironically, in a roundabout way, that is exactly what they are looking for. Her parents sound as if they are fully aware, so could they join a parents' group on social media for support?

BEAT is an eating disorders charity, and their website is very helpful: www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/

I believe they also have phone helplines. A young woman I used to teach recovered from severe anorexia. They supported her and her family during the very scary times at the worst of her illness, and she was so grateful that she continued to work as a volunteer with them when she was better. She went on to be very successful indeed.

Agreeing with other comments, do not mention food, eating or any other “health” concerns without her first bringing it up. Even the most innocent of comments can be perceived by a vulnerable teen as an attack.
Unconditional love and support is the best thing you can offer. It’s such a worry isn’t it? Glad her parents are getting her help.

The advice to say nothing is good I think. Four of my relatives have had anorexia nervosa, three of them during their teens and one at a later stage. If it’s any consolation, all of them have recovered. They still have what I’m loosely calling dominant, intense personalities. But they focus on other things now.

I work with young people as you have described. It is incredibly common, but it is rarely about the food itself. The food is just a focus and an avoidance mechanism for often not dealing with what is underneath.
Gentleness and loving kindness is the way to go. Just be there as a rock in the storm for your grand daughter, with time and patience she will sort it for herself.

It’s so hard to give up being anorexic/bulimic.
The feeling you get after vomiting or not eating is so good.
It was about control for me as my parents were so dreadful.
The more my stomach growled the better I felt.
I could easily have reverted back but becoming a parent was really what saved me.
It’s very complex and I hid it well so I was never referred, one therapy I think would have helped me is tapping therapy.

It must be heartbreaking to watch a young teenage girl shun food. As a parent (or grandparent) you want to keep them safe and well. Food is the fuel they need. It must be so worrying and exhausting watching them harm themselves in this way. And extremely difficult I imagine to try not to make it an issue.

I hope this awful situation sorts itself out soon Mamoo70.
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