I agree with what the other posters have said. You and your husband need to be on the same page. She is rude to you, then she is checked firmly and calmly by you both, then ignored until you see behaviour that is good. At that age they are starting to push boundaries, and they need to be firmly pushed back when they test them out, so that they turn into respectful, kind and well rounded adults.
It does sound very upsetting, I hope Granjenny this is resolved soon. Do let us know how you get on. Sending you a cup of tea and a sunny day

How will things change if our summers keep getting hotter


