Feel it is so sad

You are not a sentimental old fool Lizbethann55 I agree with you so much. So often I see Mums with kiddies of any age on the buses - Mum is scrolling on her phone and like you say - no words are spoken.
I had a wonderful experience a few weeks ago - standing at the bus stop I became aware of voices coming up behind me. A mum talking to her toddler in his pushchair. They were playing I-spy and the little one was giggling with delight whenever he guessed correctly! He also 'spied' something beginning with 'M' that Mum didn't guess. When she gave up he told her it was a motor bike. Obviously the said motor bike was long gone! Again fits of giggles! It was truly lovely to hear!

No, you're not at all. They are precious and we should appreciate them.

Totally agree. I am always annoyed (not the right word probably)when I see parents with kids in cafes or restaurants and the kids are given phone or I pad to watch cartoons. Why bother going out for a meal?

So sad isn’t it?

No of course your not Lisbethann!! Everything you say is true.

God what I'd do to have the chance with my GC to spend just one more hour in their company.
Cant say more just now it's just too painful.

I know it is too easy to let electronics entertain our children. I have four grandchildren by two of my children, and I despair at the amount of television in one of the families.
When they spend the day or overnight at my house the TV is rarely on for them. They do manage to keep busy, and I enjoy the interaction with them. Admittedly sometimes it is a bit much with my too-chatty four year old granddaughter!

It’s so much fun to talk to little ones! They come out with such hilarious things, I wouldn’t want to miss out in that. A couple of times lately I’ve been in cafes where there have been children at a table with a parent absorbed in their phone, and I’ve played little games from my table, waving when they’ve looked in my direction, silent peek-a-boo and so on. So many smiles from them, yet still their parent hasn’t even looked up to see what’s going on.

. I know we’re told that parents today are too busy or that they might be taking an emergency call or dealing with some calamity or other, but really? The majority of them? Yet my AC who are all parents who work FT manage to deal with day to day life without constantly needing to be on their phone.

I think pushchairs facing away from mum might have started the problem,its not easy to chat to a hood or the top of a head.I made sure all my GC had granny facing seats in the pushchairs I kept here and we talked all the time when we were out.Sometimes just nonsense sometimes I'd tell them what I was going to do and what needed done or like today I told my 6 month old about breaking my toe.She hadn't a clue what I was saying but she was involved in the telling and making wee noises back and smiling.

It is certainly is sad.
That magic time when the little ones just love you to bits is a time of pure delight.
Then when it is gone it still leaves a bond between the pair of you.
If that time is never shared I don't suppose the bond can be there.

You can't judge a snapshot of someone else's life. I'm introverted and can't be talking every minute of every day. It would be far too much interaction and would tire me out straight away.

As a teacher we would go on school trips and there were a few parents who meant well but were always questioning, explaining, over-interacting with the children. The children never got a minute's peace to reflect on their surroundings or to just 'be'. None of the class wanted to be in their group because of it!

No way are you a "sentimental old fool," Lizbethann! IMO, there is so much wisdom in your words. But as Lovely suggests, you're only seeing "snapshots" of these people's lives. Maybe that granddad watches his GD frequently, engaging in many activities w/ her, and deliberately came to the library for a little quiet. Perhaps that granny had been busy w/ her GS all morning and was getting tired. Or he just really loves to listen to those nursery rhymes. Or not. My point is there's no way to know. But I do appreciate what you're saying.

You are not alone in being sad about the lack of interaction and those missed opportunities.
We notice it more now because of mobile phones which are so intrusive but I can remember trying to pull my mum away from chatting to somone, tugging at her skirt to make her pay me attention. That wasn't yesterday.

paddyanne: I think pushchairs facing away from mum might have started the problem,its not easy to chat to a hood or the top of a head.

My daughter wouldn't have that. Even in the pram she was turning around to see what was ahead of her. Far too interested in the world. I did talk to the back of her head :-))

I think you are judging these two situations too harshly without knowing the big picture. You don’t know what came before and after each. In the library it may have been that they were each having some quiet downtime after a hectic morning together. Same with the train journey.

Never assume that what you are seeing is the full story, that’s arrogant and very judgemental.

Agree with Paddyanne about pushchairs. I borrowed a twin buggy (remember the McLaren stripey ones?) for a holiday as DD and DS were 2 & 3 at the time. They hated it - too near dogs, cars, etc. I used to enjoy my walks with DGS chatting face to face and playing I-spy. He is now 10yr old and we still have a game when stuck in traffic or on a train journey.

I see it all the time Lizbethann55.
And it`s amazing how many mothers pushing pushchairs are on their phone and not chatting to the little ones and walk out onto the road without looking.
Even more amazing is how families are having a meal together and they are ALL using their phones.
Communication has gone out of the window for so many and it is sad.

I think the first example in the library sounds nice actually, a companionable silence. I think it's very sad that technology is everywhere and there seems to be less human interaction. I don't like seeing babies propped up watching a phone.

Shelmiss I agree. And not everyone can keep up a constant flow of conversation with a small child for the entertainment of passersby. Some children actually want and need some time to think their own thoughts and go off into their own dream world.

It is best not to judge on a short period of observation. At least the Grandad was in the library with his granddaughter introducing her to books. I agree though that some parents rely on screens to occupy their children rather than interact with them. Screens have their place in our modern lives but they are not babysitters.
I didn't like buggies although they were useful, I loved taking my children out in the big pram where they could see everything and we could talk.

Grandad was in the library which is a good place to be with a child and perhaps the little girl was absorbed choosing her books. However, do agree about gadgetry it does impede conversation, but everyone is of their time and such devices are omnipresent in children's lives these days. Our grandchildren, when they stay as they will tonight, will arrive with Ipads and our granddaughter her phone too, only 10 but she's had that for a year now I did on one occasion say to her after it appeared, "you don't talk to me like you did anymore" maybe she took that on board because the last few times we've had more engagement. There's an optimum time with children when they are sparkly and full of wonder and then sadly that seems to disappear, if only it could be bottled.

I had one yr old GDG to stay recently - I have an ANCIENT silver cross pram which I used for her. Not only does she face me but she is not at exhaust-fume height and the pram has room for my shopping too. Years ago I even used it for two babies at once! Much hilarity from everyone we met.

I always used to chatter along to my youngest(whichever was youngest at the time) in a pushchair as we walked along,consequently they now never stop talking i do it to the GC too,but yes often on buses the mums are scrolling their phones while the child is trying to get attention from someone,so they usually end up talking/playing with whomever is sat opposite the pushchair,often its me,or some 'little old lady' near them we chat to the child or wave,(sometimes it shames the mums into joining in or speaking to their child themselves) occasionally you do do get a mum who does talk/sing with their child,but not much.

Dear lizabethann55 I totally agree with you, but that grandparent may have been with that child all day and every day the parents are working. I believe that today grandparents are expected to look after the grandchildren so that they may work to often make ends meet. That library or train journey may just be the places where that grand parent can have five minutes in a busy day to themselves, where really they should have the day. I love seeing my grandchildren now I am retired, but it is on my terms and it is quality time spent. I worked full time for 40 years and want some me time, I worked opposite my husband to enable us to provide. I find having grandchildren for the day tiring so only do it in emergency. Maybe I'm wrong, but it is another side of it. Xx

@paddyanne even although your lovely granddaughter didn't understand what you were saying to her she was learning to 'take part' in a conversation by 'answering' you with noises. A very valuable tool in learning to talk. (Sorry from a retired Speech and Language Therapist)