giving birth to first child at home

I agree with agnurse.
As has been said, the statistics do get skewed by mums who have opted for a home birth against advice, have not sought maternity care etc.
I have worked as a midwife, and health visitor, and I think you are very wise to keep your concerns to yourself. Do get support from here, and from friends who won't tell your daughter - that will help you to be calm with her.
If you are on her side, she will much more easily admit to worries or ask for help than if she feels she has to be defensive. Feeling safe means she can trust those monitoring her and be more ready to take their advice.
She may be advised towards the end of her pregnancy, or during early labour, to transfer to the hospital that is monitoring her. If she trusts them, she will do this with less anxiety.
However, should an emergency arise (and it really is rare) the ambulance will take her to the nearest hospital. You may prefer not to tell her that, but it may help you to be calmer.
Hospital births are not universally safe. A relaxed mum is likely to do better than an anxious one.
And I don't think home births are a 'fad' either. I would have have planned one myself but for a minor (but potentially problematic) condition that I have.

What was ironic in my day was I had to beg for a hospital birth the second time as I was worried after a long labour the first time. I was firmly told there was no reason to go into hospital. There was a shortage of beds and as we had our own bathroom our house was quite suitable.
Roll on 4 years and a change of country (Scotland) I was told that home births were unsafe, that a doctor had to be present at all births, and that he "didn't want to roll his sleeves up" but if I insisted, I could ask the midwives and it would be up to them.
They were delighted to get in the practice. One of them even said she was looking forward to sitting by my bed, doing her patchwork and calming me through labour!
I had my way and it was fine. A quick labour and my older ones very close by.
The advice about plastic sheeting is correct though, and old towels and newspaper....

Jane10 I went to a birthing class (ran by an NHS midwife) a few weeks ago. She said that an epidural costs the NHS around £3000 each time

Newmom101you are absolutely right. To describe homebirth as a middle class fad is to fail to understand what makes labour normal and safe for some women. Choice is hugely important and how we are treated around the time of birth affects us for the rest of our lives.

I think you are best to just relax and let your DD make her own plans. My DD had a home birth all planned and up until 39+3 that’s how it was going to be. She went for a routine check up and the baby was transverse so within 3 hours she was in hospital planning a CSection. Just before she had the epidural they checked again and baby had turned, back to the ward she went with a plan to induce her later that day, she was induced and ended up with a CSection anyway as baby was getting tired. What I am trying to say is, with all the best intentions, that baby will decide how it makes its entry into this world!! Good luck to your DD and her DP.❤️

Women in birthing centres/maternity units often have to be transferred to acute hospitals if theres a complication so in that respect a home birth is no different from a midwife led hospital birth

Mine were all born I hospital, I’d have been too anxious to choose anything else! I was with my eldest dd and her partner for the birth of their 2, both home births and very chilled out affairs which went smoothly. I’m sure being relaxed in her own home was what helped dd to give birth with minimal pain relief.

Fast forward a few years and I found myself “accidentally” present at the birth of another gc. My dil had been advised to opt for a home birth after their first baby was an extremely speedy hospital delivery. I was lined up to go across and take care of the 3 year old but as the midwife didn’t get there in time I ended up relaying instructions from the ambulance service to my son who safely delivered the baby. He had carefully read, and committed to memory, the info sheet they’d been given entitled “In the Event of No Midwife being present.......” Fortunately he’d also had the presence of mind to cover the cream coloured lounge carpet! The 3 year old stayed asleep upstairs throughout and one of my fondest memories is the sight of her wee face when on waking up she was introduced to her brand new baby sister. Please don’t see this as a horror story, it’s not intended as such, just a reminder that good preparation is key!

For both these mums home was best in that it enabled them to feel as relaxed as possible which in itself helps in the birthing process. I can’t say that I wasn’t a bit anxious about it all but feeling confident that it was the best decision for them enabled me to put my own feelings aside and support them to the hilt. I hope you’ll be able to do the same Pinkhousegirl

I think either way it's very helpful for mothers and their partners/labour coaches to be familiar with what to do if the baby comes suddenly. It does sometimes happen that baby is born so fast there isn't time to come to the hospital. In that case, it's safer to give birth wherever the mother is rather than trying to transfer. In the absence of complications, catching a baby and neonatal resuscitation aren't very difficult. In the two years I worked as a hospital nurse, I caught one baby myself and came close to catching at least one more. (The one I caught, a baby girl, was the mother's fifth baby. She said afterward that the doctor had only made it in time for ONE of her babies!)

The midwives in my family often bemoan how there can be a real rush of births at certain times. For some reason couples can get the same idea at the same time resulting in a baby traffic jam at maternity services. It's all hands to the pump and rotas can be discarded at the last minute. Sparing 2 midwives for hours at these times can be asking a lot of overstretched services hence the scary, 'In the event of no midwives present' leaflet!

Note this 'baby traffic jam' is 9 months after the parents all having the same idea at the same time!

I think you'll find the leaflets are intended for women having precipitate labours @Jane10 regardless of where they are planning to have their babies. The barely 2 percent of women who choose to birth their babies at home would scarcely warrant the print run,

Jane10, in the practice where my dd is currently working, they have no births whatsoever scheduled for February or March. Not one. There must have been something very good on telly last May & June!

My 2nd and 3rd babies were born at home. Wonderful experiences. The NHS midwives are highly trained and will transfer at the first sign of something amiss. Transfers are generally done early, not when baby is crowning and things have gone off course. I have several friends who were home birth transfers and even some ended up needed a cesarean but all were healthy and happy. Your daughter and grandchild will be fine.

Many areas don't offer a home birth service any more.

I think a home birth is a perfectly valid choice, especially with hospitals available nearby. The monitoring in pregnancy is now excellent. My daughter chose one for her first, along with a birthing pool.

As it turned out, though, she was advised in late pregnancy to go to hospital as baby was large and in an awkward position. In hospital she could have an epidural for a forceps delivery.

DD1 had her second baby at home with no problem. DD2 is now expecting her first and was offered a home birth. She’s decided to go to hospital , but I would have supported her fully if she’d opted for a home birth. I would have loved to have home births for myself but didn’t have the stamina for a fight. We have very short labours in our family so there’s an anxiety about getting to hospital in time. I was fully dilated when I arrived at hospital with DD 2 having got there ASAP.

Jane10 Do you have a source for that.

Because I don’t believe that’s true.

* All women have a legal right to be attended by an authorized midwife and well over 99% claim this right, either by coming to a labour ward or having midwifery care at home.*

Bibbity I don't think its accurate either. It is a woman's right to choose where she gives birth. Some trusts have tried to restrict homebirth provision where there are problems with staffing but that doesn't alter the woman's right to choose. It may also explain the rise in 'freebirthing' where women actively choose not to be attended when they give birth.

I agree Granny
When A woman tells a trust she is having a home birth that’s it. Conversation over they are legally obligated to provide a midwife.

The busiest times for babies being born are the months of August and September, having been conceived around Christmas time the previous year, and April and May, thanks to Romantic encounters whilst on Holiday during July and August, although some have also linked this to the fact that it’s out of season for Football, so couples seek other fun things to do instead!

My DIL decided to have first child at home. Labour went well at the start but things got a bit hairy, so midwife ordered ambulance and sent her to hospital for emergency C section.

Not a horror story. Just to show there is a back up if it doesn’t go to plan.

Due to unsatisfactory home circumstances, my first 3 were born in hospital. But the 4th and 5th were both born at home, in 1969 and 1971, and the experience was much more pleasurable and relaxed, with no rigorous rules to abide by. I`d choose home birth every time.

I know it was back in the 70's, but I had my second baby at home (a house with a downstairs outside toilet). Wonderful experience, so much better than the hospital births and so much easier in the next few days.
One of my friends, gave birth to her first baby in a hospital - (back then it was ten days for first time Mums), she got herself discharged within two days - and then had a further eight babies (all weighing well over 8 lbs) at home. No problems with any of them, she usually only took to her bed about an hour or two before they popped out, and was up and around again within another couple of hours. All babies were fully breastfed.
The only advantage that there used to be in hospital births for first-time mums was that the long post-natal time we had (ten days) gave us a chance to make good friends. However, that no longer exists and Mum and Baby are sent home within a couple of hours of birth - they might just as well stay in their own homes and relax.

Two family members of the younger generation wanted to have their first babies at home. One ended up with the baby in breech position, so accepted an elective caesarean and a few days in hospital; her second child was a normal birth but took place in hospital as they weren't sure whether another caesarean would be necessary. The other person wanted the full new-age home-birth with water bed, soft lights and music, etc, but ended up having to be rushed to hospital to complete the process (I can't remember exactly why).

Anyway, both the "failed" home births resulted in safe deliveries with no harm to mother or baby. As long as there's someone on hand ready to make a dash to the nearest hospital, and of course a midwife who knows when to panic or not, it's normally OK, so I don't think you should be anxious about it. It is worth mentioning, perhaps, that a pre-booked and planned hospital delivery with a very short stay can be a calmer and less worrying experience than an emergency admission to hospital in mid-labour - another family member made this choice. In fact, her first delivery had bleeding complications and she had to stay in hospital for further surgery; when she had her second baby she delivered in hospital but was home again in a few hours, which seemed like the best of both worlds. If the birth is straightforward, the hospital stay can be very brief, and if it isn't, it's better to be there in the first place.

How exciting, first grandchild is very special

over 50 years ago, my best friend had her babies at home,

I haven`t the personal experience...
but congratulations, and yes,, we have to let our children make their own decisions... not easy!

@agnurse, thank you, excellent idea. I think if I can get busy with practical assistance, rather than winding myself up, it will be much more helpful for all parties! x