School pick ups

I wouldnt want to do it on a regular basis.

At the age if sixtysomething I've suddenly found myself having to ferry my disabled son to and from college because the council have cut SN transport.
It's hell!!

Kirkcubbin surely after 9 years the end is in sight? My GS has been taking himself home from secondary school since he was 11.

We do one pick up a week same day we have little one for day so have rest of week it's enough !

Have done this on 2 days for 9 tears. Now getting fed up as I find it stressful and have done since start.

I am generally available to do drop offs and pick ups in an emergency. I'm doing pick up today because fo hospital appointment. It's maybe possible for you to be available in an emergency but it is a huge committment to be doing it every day. Please think hard and discuss it with your DD before you commit to everyday.

Could you not offer to do two days a week? That way you won't feel mean for saying no, and I am sure your DD will understand that you don't want or need to be tied down to fetching the children five days a week.

I know it can be difficult for working parents, but surely, she and another mother or father could share the school runs.

Is it quite impossible for the children to come home from school alone? I don't know how old they are, what kind of distances are involved, but a lot of parents are fetching and carrying children instead of letting them learn to fend for themselves. Obviously if the are five they can't go home alone, but if they are 11 that's a rather different kettle of fish.

No don't do it, some of us had parents who did it for us but these days you have after school clubs so why not use that? Failing that how about friends or even a child minder for half an hour a day.n enjoy the freedom of your retirement.

I did pick ups about 3 or 4 days a week and looked after DGC until DD finished work. It could be a 5 pm or 9 pm finish. I did meals and baths too.
Then one day I was ill and could not do it. From that day to this I have not seen DD or DGC.
Grandparents are extended family members and often willing to help out but we are not the parents or a paid for service. Clearly I was only worth my usefulness.

We all love our grandchildren. But be very careful what you commit to. It will soon become the new ‘normal’. I think my advice would be to be upfront, say you think it might be too much as you were looking forward to a retirement without clock watching. Perhaps offer to be the ‘on call’ help in cases of illness or say you’ll try it and review the situation at the end of each half term when alternative arrangements could then be put in place. Personally, I’d hate it, even though I adore our two grandchildren who live a 15 minute walk from us. I’ve never done it and I know peers who have with every good intention then found it too much. Childcare is expensive. Our daughter is a teacher and it costs her & our SIL just shy of £800 per month to have them minded. We help in other ways.

When you first retire after 40yrs of being slave to the alarm clock at the crack of dawn, sometimes it's difficult to get up. Doing the drop-offs sounds quite attractive. I think Caterpillar you've got it right, and you'll always there in an emergency.

I do pick up one day a week and that is fine by me. I get to see them and enjoy a few hours with them but that day is totally out for anything else which is also fine but I wouldn't like to do it every day . We didn't have that luxury when out children were small but then we didn't have to go to work as mothers.

Could you offer to do drop off and pick up a couple of days each week, with proviso she will have to find someone else if you go on hols in term time while cheaper?

Please say "no"
Please do not commit yourself even to one day.
One day becomes two and then........
Also the one day may be the day you want to meet a friend or have an appointment with the doctor or dentist.
I would say that you will be happy to help out in an emergency if you are able but do not want to be committed to more than that.

Certainly not. Tell her you will do one day and tell her why.

We looked after 2 GC from birth, then term time and holidays and continued with drop off & pick up and feed until elder GC went to high school. Now we do daily drop offs and occasional pick ups. Mum picks up most days.
We are lucky as the after school club allows a certain number of casual visits. You’re right, it is very tying but as I was still working and my DH was happy to do it, it didn’t matter. Had I been retired I’d have liked to opt for just drop off, but since my DD was ill, I’d probably have done both.

I would maybe offer to do it for one day a week but doing it every day means that you are giving up your ability to plan much else and everything you do has to be around those times.
It is often easier to say no at the beginning than after you start if you find it too much.

I do two pick-ups a week, then look after them till about 5 pm. DD comes and picks them up from us.

I cannot do drop-offs because OH needs getting up and dressing in the mornings - he is at his worst at that time and I could not leave him.

If there are occasions when I cannot do the pick-up DD is fine with that and makes other arrangements. She understands that I have other things in my life too, and that OH often needs taking to appointments.

It works for us and I love having them. The school is only 10 minutes away so that makes it easier.

That’s a very generous offer. A very big commitment still, so make sure at the outset that she knows she will have to arrange alternatives as you may have to cancel sometimes and there will be these occasions, when you are ill or away or whatever.

I would offer what you feel you can do. Today's world often requires parents to work. Raising children should be a joy but the worry for working parents can be stressful. Maybe you could offer to do the morning drop off. Or perhaps commit to 2 set days. Thereby helping them, getting to be with your grandchildren and having time to yourself. Ultimately, talk it through and negotiate...

Offer whatever you feel comfortable doing long term. We did nursery pick ups for many years until he went to school. We missed him terribly not having him regularly and giving him his tea and bath and Pjs. Now we see him once a half term for a weekend. He also comes during the school holidays for a few days. It’s different. We know we won’t have the same type of arrangement with the new baby as Our daughter is staying at home. Do what you can and enjoy every moment. Today we are picking up from school and taking GS swimming. It’s a first and we are all very excited!

Thanks everyone. I'm going to offer to do drop offs as I'll still have the day free after that but decline the pick ups. Hopefully dd will find an alternative if I'm assertive enough!

No way. However this does show how things have changed over the years. I was taken by Dad for the morning of my very first infant school day and was expected to sort myself out the rest of the time, which I did. Dad worked and mum was blind.

I think the OP's daughter asked her as the first choice. If she declines, a solution will be found.

I would say no, we do one day a week, it comes round quickly and for us is a 80 mi nute round Trip Drive from home. Once a week is enough and quite honestly after a while it can start to be taken fir granted and even seen as replacing grandparent/ family time. It is a big commitment and once started is hard to reduce.
You have answered your own question, you are not keen. Go with your gut feeling. They must understand they are asking a lot.

Even 'wary"

I agree Granny23 the whole school system is Victorian and causes everybody problems now most parents work. caterpillar the very fact you are asking us suggests you really aren't sure. I would be very wry of taking on quite so much specially if you have things you do during the week. Why not work out what you might do and offer that. We did a pick up twice a week for a while but many schools now have before and after clubs. You don't say how old you are and of course that can make a difference.