worried about GD

Agnurse I have reread Otter's post and there is no mention of abuse or neglect. Social services are stretched enough. They would laugh at you if such a situation was reported.

The reason I always say go to social services is that these sorts of problems generally fall into two categories.

1. Problems that you should report. These include abuse and neglect.

2. Problems that are not serious enough to report.

If it falls into the second category, it falls into the category of "not your business". People have the right to live as they wish. This is not OP's child. That means she does not get to dictate how the parents raise her, including how they keep their home. If she feels there is a major issue, social services is the appropriate means of correcting the problem.

Soes your DD have a dishwasher? If so, suggest she puts the daughter’s drink bottles in there, and failing that, she boils a kettle and pours the hot water in there, and then uses a bottle brush, it sounds a real health risk.
Smoking, well, we all grew up in a tobacco fug I should think.You can say what you think of it, smoking around a child but be prepared for an arguement.
Untidy and a bit mucky homes, as long as there is love and not neglect don’t matter too much.
Your DD doesn’t have your good hygene standards ( mine doesn’t either.) They may well improve with time though.

I'm puzzled about the washing machine being used as a waste disposal unit.
Could you explain how this happens please?

agnurse has a propensity for advising many problems being referred to social services mumof

Otter, it's frustrating for you to see that your daughter's level of cleanliness isnt up to your standards, but maybe a more proactive approach would be to offer to help her? If she bats your offer away then there's little to be achieved in pursuing it. Best to keep the relationship going relatively smoothly for your GD's sake.

A report to social services would hardly aid family relationships and would be far too heavy handed agnurse. I would try not to worry Otter and just help out when you get the chance.

Another granny who thinks she knows better than mum. No wonder you don't get on.
Why not do something useful like buy a couple of sippy cups so that they can have a good soak between uses.

Effectively what you're telling them is that they don't know how or aren't willing to take proper care of their child.

This is not your concern. If you feel there is a serious issue that's why we have social services.

I, too, would be more worried about the passive smoking than a bit of dirt.
Although my stomach churns at the thought of a slimy feeding cup for a small child. I would be scrubbing it whenever I visited

Thanks for all replies, it has been said that she will have a healthy immune system and yes, one can overdo the cleaning - its a long history of having an untidy daughter with a tidy mum ... GD has had chesty cough recently and I just think 'would she choose to live like this if she could or had any choice'
Finding it really hard not to speak up - where does it stop? where do you draw the line? Can't interfere but can see problems ahead.......

Sorry , but it is not necessarily a bad thing to have a few germs about , those feeding cups do get a bit slimy ! How do I know ? but it is from the drink , they do need scrubbing and I used to just rinse them .If the wee one is robust and showing no signs of illness , I wouldn't worry , it leads to bad temper and falling out if you keep nagging . My DIL would have bitten the head off me if I had sent the child home in washed clothes , she did smell of cigarettes occasionally

The black mould, the slime in the cup and the passive smoke inhalation are all health risks.
As others have said, a bit of dirt does no harm and is actually benificial in avoiding allergies.
The spores from the black mould may affect your Gds chest, also the smoking.
Recently, children in a Nursery became very ill and it was traced back to the Drinkers that were not being washed properly.
If it was me I would have to keep nagging her/them. I'd help them get rid of the black mould and remind them of not smoking near the baby.
Must be upsetting for you!

Good for her immune system, and she is obviously thriving. The only thing that would concern me is if she is subject to passive smoking. There is a school of thought (and increasing research) suggesting that the increase in allergies etc., is a direct result of children being raised in 'too clean' homes.

If the granddaughter seems well and happy and there is love and attention in the home I d leave it be