How often do you see local gc

Doodle. Before I had baby, I saw my parents maybe twice a month, more with birthdays, holidays etc. I’m on leave for 15 months so I see them more as they come over to watch baby while I do chores / they help with chores, we go swim at their pool, grocery shop together. It will go back to the regular pattern once I’m back at work.

Jalima. If someone is rude to me, I will turn into a bitch against them. So the best way to handle mils rudeness (guilting, inappropriate remarks) is to have husband present so I don’t say what I really think and end up with her crying that I’m so mean.

Son lives 45 minutes away. Rarely see him or 2 granddaughters or DiL. Very sad but cant force them. Only see them when I offer to take them out for dinner. I have a lovely home but they never come for a meal. Always wriggle out of it when I ask. Other 2 children live in England.
OP is lucky. Doesn't realise.

I wouldn't have thought of you as a shrinking violet, Diktat, that you need your husband for a buffer between you and your MIL.

Are you not able to deal with her firmly but pleasantly if she is a bit 'difficult'?

Diktat how often do your parents see your children?
If your children are of a young age then grandparents like to see them more often as they change so quickly.

Please remember that at one time your husband was their child and probably loved him like you do your own children. Just think for a minute how you would feel in later years if your children's partners wanted to put you off seeing your children and grandchildren.

Will be seeing two who are nearby today because of unexpected school pick up but otherwise, now they are all bigger and all the parents are at work, twice a month or so sounds reasonable - however soon it will be half term thats a different story.

Wow Monica. You’re rude.

We sometimes see my husband’s parents multiple times a month if there are holidays and birthdays so that’s fine with me. If there are no holidays, then twice a month works for me.

But mil often texts asking to come over when dh isn’t home and that isn’t fine with me due to comments she makes or guilt trips. Husband must be present to handle those issues when they arise.

Another of those OPs who likes to start a thread and then either is easily bored or lacks the nerve to post again.

I think everything depends on individual circumstances

- frequency says nothing about the length of time involved so it could be a whole day or a 30 minute pop-in
- It doesn't say anything about the other family commitments the family has to fit into spare time - other GPs, siblings, aunts and uncles etc and whether they are also local
- the age of the children may influence as well - friends, parties, sports teams, music lessons etc
- whether the parents work or not may be important

So it really is a how long is a piece of string

Sadly in some families GP's appear to be second rate family Katek or not family at all which is why some get cut out all together.

Once a week when they were younger, then as others have said, less as they got older. Now some in their teens, perhaps once a month when we go out for lunch or something.

GPs intruding on ‘family time’? Aren’t GPs family too?

Remembering your previous posts regarding your poor m.i.l. I'm surprised that you're allowing her to see her GC as often as twice a month.

Mine live 15 minutes away by car. Usually see them about every 10 days or so. Rarely have to do childcare as they are 16, 15, and 11. DGS has gone to boarding school, (his choice! ) so will see him less often. DD is very good about keeping in touch, and I'm always happy to offer help when needed.

I live just around the corner from grandchildren these last two years. Before that I was 150 miles away and saw them about twice a month . Nowadays I see them between 5 and7 times a week. My youngest daughter lives next door to her sister and the children are in and out of both houses every day, she is like a second mother to them. We always do something all together for the weekends and holiday together twice a year. The grandchildren come to me for tea once a week and I do some childcare in the school holidays. I know I am now very lucky to have so much contact but there is a lot of give and take between us and we too spend time together because we love each other.

Frequency of seeing family is as long as a piece of string, but I see warning signs when the OP says Mine live 10 mins away and expect once a week but I’ve been able to push it to twice a month. and uses 'Diktat' as a nickname.

Most parents and grandparents have the kind of relationship where words like 'expect' do not arise, they just fall into a happy arrangement. Some grandparents are providing childcare and see the children daily. and with others it is less regular.

I have no experience of close grandparenting, but DDiL's mother lives close and in the early years she was in and out all the time and DDiL and DS owe her an enormous debt of gratitude for the help she gave them.

Now the eldest DGC is in secondary school, she sees them less, but still rings and drops in regularly, in the same way they ring and drop in on her. As paddyann says, Thats how families are surely ,they spend time together because they love each other

I have one for half the week ,the others I see every other day when I visit their home to help their mum,who has multiple health issues.My middle GD also texts me regularly sometimes with problems sometimes just to say hi ,but most days ,soome days 3 or 4 times .She feels insecure because of her mothers health so I'm her security blanket .My son who lives 5 minutes away pops in most days after work ,the same as I did with my parents ,he and his partner are happy to spend time with us and I'm very happy to see them .Thats how families are surely ,they spend time together becaus ethey love each other .

notanan2 going by her comment here and on previous posts I'd say so.

Just wondering if you live close to your inlaws how often they saw/see your kids. Mine live 10 mins away and expect once a week but I’ve been able to push it to twice a month

This is a comment by the mother of the children, not by a "gran".

Did I miss where the OP said she was a "young mum"?

I take 2 of them to and from school every day except Friday's That's about 2 hours out of my day, 4 days a week.

The other 2 live 1 hour's drive away - on Fridays I drive over, do my daughter's ironing, pick up the kids from school and hang out for a couple of hours.

If you don't like your in laws, fine, but most young mums do. To each their own.

My MIL used to collect my lot at 10 every Wednesday morning and drop them back at 3-ish, when they were too young for school. They loved it, and her, nearly as much as I did.

25%? Hmmmm! Let me see.....

5 hours of free childminding today.
8 hours of free childminding this Friday.
5 (could end up more) babysitting on Saturday evening.
3 hours when they all come for their Sunday lunch because they invited themselves.

So agnurse, what percentage is that? Of a week? A month? A weekend?

I too remember diktat's earlier posts.

Once a week is a LOT if its a full day happening at weekends or parents day off work. It leaves very little time for immediate family/friends time

If its once a week "popping in" after nursery/work/school it's not much and quite reasonable

So really think it depends on what form the once a week is expected to take

Don’t exactly get your maths agnurse
I used to have Sunday tea with my grandparents every week after a walk with my Dad, Mum would join us after a (no doubt) welcome bit of “peace and quiet” having the house to herself!
What % would you call that?

That’s nonsense Agnurse the poster doesn’t say how much time once a week what day or evening or what age the kids are So how or earth can you work out that the poster is losing 25% of her family time A very big chunk of imagination going on there Once a week could be one hour out of the 168 hours
I also remember the previous post by Diktak and wasn’t impressed by it

Once a week is frankly a lot of time. Consider that most families are busy on weeknights and only have time together on the weekends. If you spend even half a day each week with the in-laws, that's already 25% of your family time each week taken up. Plus many children have weekend activities, too.