grandaughter's bath times

MOMOF3 i said 'poor thing' once! secondly I don't think my son wants to override my dil decision & make her doubt herself as a mother &. neither do I! he does the cooking & a lot of other things besides! thank you very much

This is often the type of meddling that can make your DIL not interested in spending time with you. First of all, why is she solely responsible for bathing her child, and not your son? It's also in no way your place to mention anything. This isn't your child and your opinion isn't wanted. I'll never understand the incessant need to give unsolicited advice. I don't go to my MIL's house and tell her how to clean her stove.

And as someone else mentioned, it's recommended not to bathe children too much as it dries out their skin. My son gets a rash on the back of his neck too. It comes and goes. He's happy and healthy. Why give a judgmental opinion and cause tension over something so meaningless?

Some babies especially before they become mobile with all their rolls can be very rashy and whatever Mom does it will never make a difference. There’s no reason to keep saying “poor thing” it sounds like your granddaughter is very well cared and loved for.

If your son has expressed surprise that she hasn’t gone for a bath is he not capable of taking your granddaughter for a bath.

The world hasn’t gone mad it’s just that advice now has to come from proven evidence.

As you’ve said she’s a great mom although I’m sure as all most Moms including you all she is trying to do is the best she can. I’m always amazed as how women we judge each other?? no man would ever comment on another Dad’s parenting abilities.

When you go up for childcare you could wipe under the chin with a damp cotton pad and maybe take a gift of some baby essentials and mention a new Mom friend of yours recommended sudocrem so you brought some if they might wanted to try it.

I live in an Eastern European country and they can go a little crazy in keeping baby warm. If GD is too warm that may be causing the rash. Could be very easy to fix with a breezy “It’s very warm in here”

Also while you’re there go out for dinner just you, DiL and talk about adult stuff.

is should be "his".

This thread is interesting to me because my grandson also doesn't get a bath a day - my biggest problem is getting is grandad (my husband) to shut up about it! I noticed it too but ignored it and still do.

autumsun your posts are only in purple to you ... it's just so you can spot your own posts easily.

Ah...but whose!!??

Lucky I love 'bum end'

They don't need bathing very much. It's not as if they are out playing in the mud.

If baby hates it, then limit its use!

A quick flick round with a flannel is entirely sufficient. Bum end will get cleaned at nappy changes.

Talc is a no-no - it has been shown that the tiny particles get into their tiny lungs.

The rash may have nothing to do with bathing. Babies can be subject to prickly heat, "flea bite" rash (erythema toxicum neonatorum), and eczema, among other things. You all are correct in that too much bathing can be harmful, especially for very young babies. A newborn's skin is very delicate. In fact, if it is eczema, too much bathing can actually make it WORSE.

I agree with just going with the flow. As long as the baby is not being actively harmed there is no reason to step in - and if you are concerned about actual harm, consider contacting the social services.

It’s so difficult isn’t it, wanting to help but not wanting to force ourselves on the new mum - even harder when it’s a mil/dil relationship I believe. I’m fortunate that my dil is very reasonable and seems to value my advice. She follows what she sees fit, and ignores the rest. I like you just try to mention anything I think is relevant in a really casual way. It hasn’t done any harm so far, dgs will be on soon and me and his mother have a lovely relationship. Good luck.

I agree about the talc not being used but not at all about the daily bath and natural oils thingy I gave all my kids a nightly bath to calm them and make them warm and sleepy for bedtime They all have very good skins and none of us are spotty I think these silly things go in and out of style and five years down the line it all change again
However I wouldn’t challenge your daughter in law over this maybe you can give her one on the day you have her then hopefully she ll get two a week it sounds like sweat that accumulates in the little rolls they hardly have necks as babies do they? And at 8 months she may be teething and that goes with dribble too
You sound a perfect mum in law keeping your thoughts to yourself
Good luck

stella1949 thanks for making me laugh the worlds gone mad

why are my posts all in purple except the first one does it mean somethings gone wrong please reply

That story about the "natural oils" always makes me laugh. My husband's first wife didn't believe in bathing because "it removes the natural oils"'. He said she smelled so bad that he ended up leaving. So much for the benefits of natural oils.

SpanielNanny do you know I nearly said that last time but the words just didn't come out & I didn't want to make a hash of it but now speaking about it & getting it off my chest I will mention it next time in a casual way thanks

I've never had girls before two sons & two grandsons so this is all new again for me!

Sorry autmnsun our posts crossed! Has she asked her health visitor to have a little look?

thanks for all your help x

I was sitting in my dil’s living room when the health visitor told her that they do not advise daily baths for babies anymore. The natural oils are thought to be very important in protecting their skin. As others have said, talc is not reccomended, it can be very harmful if inhaled by the baby.

As others have said could it be a dribble rash. They make some lovely dribble catcher bibs to help keep it off your dgs neck. In the meantime my ds & dil swear by sudocrem for rashes on my dgs.

ok so I have a lot to learn! no she doesn't dribble & she only dresses her in baby grows so I can't see any concern there

Thanks Teetime for your reply I did have my suspicions things might have changed a bit since our day! anything else you just have to go with the flow don't you just NOT THAT .The problem is she is away from her own family(shes lithiuaniun)but she skypes her mum most days (lovely family) I don't drive & I work.. It's 2 buses to their house from mine which takes an hour also my son works shifts so shes on her own a lot she speaks perfect english & they have many friends but still spends most time on her own. She will be going back to work soon (works for the Deutche bank so she is an intelligent girl (not like me! so am very proud) so i'm going to child mind 1 day a week & stay overnight so eventually things will work out.You can't rush these things can you?

It is not a good idea to use baby talc on little girls after a bath or anywhere near her bottom, as the powder can enter the vagina and course the natural bacteria from working as it should.
Does she dribble a lot? could this be causing the rash?
baby lotion or cream on her neck sounds the best idea.

my GD has exzema and she only bathes once or twice a week.It was actively discouraged by our GP when she was a baby.Top and tailing every morning and night and NO baby talc.Its not good for them ..even if they dont have skin issues

One of my DDs had a rash under her neck as a small baby. Turned out to be caused by wool, and / or manmade fibres - anything of course but the sheerest cotton. But I think it started before 8 months.