I'm upset too over split

He might be right though , she is very young . It is sad when things don't go right for our lovely GC and we feel we should wave a magic wand

No its not abnormal at all, you've probably thought of this nice young man as almost part of the family and you can't just turn off those feelings.
I kept in contact with my sons girlfriend because we became good friends, they both moved on to have lovely families with other people and its lovely she keeps me up to date. I guess it would be different if she were a man as he's likely to just disappear from your lives.
Your husband is right, she will get over it but its ok for you to be upset too. Don't be hard on yourself

I'm sure your husband is right Saralice. Your granddaughter is much too young at 18 to be locked into a 4 year relationship. It is sad though, I acknowledge that. We form relationships with our children/grandchildren's significant others, then we miss them. That's life isn't it.

I think that we get to know the boyfriends/partners of our DC and DGC and like them and hope it will last.Their life though, and if he isn't right for her, sad though it is, she will go on hopefully to find somebody else.

I think also she was young to have been in a relationship from just before reaching fifteen, They were the best of friends before becoming boyfriend/girlfriend. They were happy together but one in university and the other in an apprenticeship at home wasn't ideal.I do hope they will remain good friends and who knows what the future will hold.

Whilst at high school, my son began a relationship with a lovely girl who was in his year group. They stayed together all through school and into the early days of them being at university. But by the end of their first year the relationship began to crumble and they split up. The whole of the two families had become friends during those 5 years and we looked on the young girl as a family member, as they looked on our son as one of theirs. It was a very sad time but, they were really too young to be settling down for life at just 19 years old, and we too hoped that they would remain friends. Fast forward 20 years and they are now both married, albeit to different partners, but their friendship has remained true and encompasses their partners and young children and they enjoy family days out together occasionally. And although I'm still very fond of that young woman, I can see now that my son is with someone who suits him much better as a life partner, but I'm so glad that their friendship continues. And we get to still be in contact too which is a bonus!

Feeling sad for someone you love and who has been hurt is quite natural, she is a lucky girl to have someone who cares so much about her, and she will recover - a similar thing happened to my grand-daughter a couple of years ago, took her a long time to stand back and recover, but she did, as so many do, so take heart. Your husband is right.

Saralice i too was with a boy from when i was 14 but sadly i married him at 17 and what a waste of a life it was, i know your DGD is hurting but if i was you i would be breathing a sigh of relief, it is way way too young to be in such a relationship. She will soon find she has a life to lead and may just feel she has wasted her teenage years.

Four year relationships at 18??? Think of all the changes in a person in those 4 years. I would try not to make too much of it if I were you, yes she is upset but that's life and the young soon recover if they are sensible.

I worry about the way young people turn adversity into tragedy.......they may be married to each other with kids in 20 years, who knows.

It's not over till the fat lady sings, and I am not singing.

Only natural to be upset when these things happen. You have known this boy for 4 years after all, some marriages do not last that long these days. Think yourself lucky that there are no children involved.

She has to make her own mind up, as does he. You can only offer support.

You are all grieving because this person will no longer be a constant in your lives. Your grandaughter was happy, if she's not happy, you're not happy....this is all part of life's rich tapestry, as painful as it might be. Your husband is right she will get over it. I can remember my first boyfriend, it broke my heart when he dumped me....still think about him occasionally now, but through rose tinted glasses! Breaking up in your teens does not mean the rest of your life is over, its only just begun! I'm sure there will be a few more frogs before she finds her prince!

Sorry but there will be lots of ups and downs in life for your granddaughter, don't think I would be getting upset over this.

Don't be upset, just be supportive.

Two of DD's friends were in long-term relationships when they went off to university and the relationships both continued all the time they were there and for quite a long while afterwards. They both regretted it because neither ended up with those partners years later and both felt they had missed out on a lot of social life and fun at university as a result.

She will get over it

My DD had a number of fairly long term boyfriends before at 36 she met and married my lovely SiL i was very sad sometimes when another boyfriend disappeared from our lives . But some I breathed a sigh of relief when it broke up ! If she has been with him him since she was 14 I would say thank goodness as we change so much as we grow up. She will get over it and will move on .

It's her first heartbreak with her first love. I'm a great believer that everything happens for a reason, once she gets over the initial heartache she will then venture into a whole new world of adulthood which will be exciting for her. Don't be hard on yourself, you all liked him and after 4 yrs he would have been like family.I would suggest you don't all let her see your dwelling on it tho , you all need to be strong for her and encourage her to move on with her new found freedom.

I am sure your DGD will get over what I suppose is a first romance, she may move on quicker than the family as you have all got attached to this boy. A friend had got on really well with her daughter's boyfriends mum and because the break up was a bad one felt doubly upset to lose a big part of her social life as well.

My brother died [diabetic coma] when he was 33. 25 years on we are all still friends with his then-girlfriend.
She is happily married, with two children.
We are privileged that he found such a lovely girl and - though she has moved on - that she still considers us to be friends.

Obviously you're upset that your GD is sad at the end of her relationship, that's understandable.

To be honest, if it were me, I'd be secretly happy in an odd sort of way!

Eighteen is far too young to have been in a four-year relationship. Your GD can now spread her wings and blossom.

Her mum thinks she will happier eventually as her boyfriend has been a large part of her life and the focus of it, She has good friends as well who she sees and goes out with when they are home from unuversity. The next few weeks are going to be difficult for her but we will all help to support her. We are also thinking about her boyfriend as well as he is upset too as I'm sure his family are.Life will go on though and what will be will be.
Thank you all for your comments and support.

In my family a teenage couple were apparently well suited and both families were very happy about their relationship. Then the young man went away to university and, as so often happens, after several months ended the relationship.
Everyone was upset and the person who actually cried most was the young man's father who really did love the young woman like a daughter.

When a friend's son and his fiancée broke up his mother insisted she kept a ring that she had given her. It had belonged to her own mother, the son's grandmother and she was so fond of the ex-fiancée she really wanted her to keep it.

I know several couples who have been together since their mid teens my best friends have been together since they were 14 and 16 and have been married for 38 years .Young relationships DO work out ...my own parents were boyfriend and girlfriend from 13 though Dad went to the war when he was only just over 17 .My lovely granny though thought very young relationships were a mistake as she was well into her 20's when she married my grandfather ...he was 4 years younger.She used to tell us her 4 grandaughters that everyone needs to have their heart broken at least once ...its part of growing up .I was engaged twice before getting married at 21 .I'm still married to that same man who I married exactly 1 year after our first date, 42 years on.You just know when its right for you,I've never had a single regret

My DA and DU met at 12 and 15, were together 75 years.

I have a friend who met her husband when she was 14 and he was 15 and they are still blissfully happy today.

However, personally, I think most girls have to kiss a lot of frogs before they find their Prince.