Glad I'm NOT a grandparent

I can't remember the last time I talked about my grandsons on GN, or "droned on" about them in real life. Though if anyone is even the teensy bit interested, I love the bones of the three of them and would lay my life down for any one without a second thought.

What a strange OP. It's like starting a thread saying you're glad you're not a dog owner. I am actually, but only because I'd have to scoop their poop and find someone to look after them while I went on holiday. Boring? You bet!

Depends Bluebell. When is a gran not a gran? I have a friend who's not likely to ever have grandchildren, so she sort of shares mine. When my DS lived quite a distance away a neighbour with distant grandchildren adopted my DGS. There are step-grans, grans living-in-hope grans, dog and cat grans, pretend grans. I assumed this was a forum for the gran-aged.

Why is it called Gransnet if its not for grans? I just presumed it was from the name although since posting I know not everyone is
I m not bothered one way or t'other just curious

I read something somewhere, ( it may have been here on Gransnet) about a couple that went to dinner with friends, who brought with them another couple that constantly talked about themselves the whole eveing, when they came up for air they made a comment about people with grandchildren were always talking about them. The husband, fed up with not getting a word in, quickly retorted "I do talk about my grandchildren, I find it stops me talking about myself!"

anno

That is so depressing isn't it! Such a relief when someone says 'how's the family?' or 'have you planned any trips?' or 'how are the wee dogs?' (not well, unfortunately ...)

I don't discuss GCs with my friends very often. It's far more interesting to get a blow by blow account of each others' operations and ailments.

I don't think you will have the delightful grandchild free existance you are selling however, if you don't want to hear about what matters in other people's lives.

It'll be an unnecessarily lonely grandchild-free life if you keep that up

I will never EVER ever ever ever run a marathon - SOD THAT!, but I have friends who do and I want to hear what crazy races they have coming up and how they got on in the last one etc.

There are places that are not on my "to visit" list but if someone has recently travelled I want to hear all about it

I do not want an indoor pet, I will happily chat about other people's pets...

So why don't you want to hear about other people's grandchildren just because you don't have/want your own? That is not a normal way to interract with people you know!

Here's a positive:
The world is looking bleak environmentally and politically, I would be relieved to not have to worry about any more generations of my loved ones in that respect.
I also love babies so would find the positive either way

Otherwise, the grandparenting you describe is only one type of grandparenting. LOADS of grandparents don't do any childcare and just enjoy their grandchildren for visits and family get-togethers where it's still the parents doing the leg-work!
Babysitting and sleep-overs are only for families who it suits, and many many kids never sleep over at their grandparents house without their parents.

I am new here myself, but the last thing I would do is start a thread about not wanting grandchildren.

It did sound a bit angry . It did get a response though which is really what this kind of thread will elicit.

Nobody misses what they don't have, but come back if you do have a grandchild and say what you think then.

!!

A rich variety Lillie. But all 'Gran reserva'

Which grape variety are your grandchildren Judthepud2? I know a few kids called Chardonnay or Chianti.

Sorry, I couldn't resist ("raisin") ... had too many glasses of Merlot tonight!

Bionicwoman welcome to GN. Not everyone on here has grandchildren, though given the age range we fall into, many of us do have. Have a look at the thread titles and you will see that they cover a wide spectrum of topics. I am frankly more of a bore about my dog than my grandchildren, all of whom I love deeply. But they are not my total raisin d'etre.

i was never interested in grandchildren and was quite happy to see DD immersed in her career while I pursued my own interests. Ten years later I don't know what I would do without three grandsons.

How judgemental of you Bionicwoman. Do you realise that you are coming over as a strange mix of smug and defensive? As another poster commented, I didn't expect to be, or want to be, a grandmother, but they arrived anyway and my love for them is a wonderful thing and makes me see the world in a different light. However, having grandchildren does not mean that I talk incessantly about them, or that I have no other interests. It certainly does not mean that I judge others on whether or not they have children or grandchildren and that attitude is not something I have seen on this site while I've been following it. So, I am puzzled as to why you chose to vent your anger on Gransnet contributors, lumping us all together into one homogenous, boring group and in so doing, proving that you have not looked closely at the site. Personally, I couldn't care less about your petty frustrations, but if you do want to put them out there for the world to see I would recommend you start a thread for ' bitter old women.

As you wrote to me directly, bionicwoman it's only fair that I try to grasp your reasons for feeling the way you do. Maybe you could try to steer conversations with your friends more in your direction, like asking what songs the children learn nowadays (if you like singing), or what quilting patterns are popular for kids today (if you like embroidery). Then you will feel part of the discussion and the topics will take on a new dimension beyond just grandchildren. Maybe you have a brother or sister with grandchildren and you could get involved in a small way so that you too have some knowledge to impart when your friends are talking about theirs.
I'm not yet retired, but I do have dogs, grandchildren and hobbies. I can turn the discussions round to suit the audience I am talking with, so I'm surprised your friends seem so limited in their topics of conversation.

My name is NfkDumpling and I have one husband, three children, four grandchildren and four granddogs and two grandcats. Grandchildren and granddogs come to stay occasionally in school holidays and we enjoy family meals and outings.

A lot of the friends we have are through mutual interests and they don't know I have children, let alone grandchildren. It's not relevant to that friendship so we don't discuss it. What's the problem.

(I thought Gransnet was for granny age people who want a bit of grownup discussion. I didn't realise grandchildren were compulsory.)

Izabella I think it is a bit odd - although perhaps Gransnet is a misnomer - one would assume everyone is a grandparent but some are not, nor parents either, and some are younger too. There are few threads specifically about grandchildren, although they may be mentioned in passing just as one might mention their parents, their dog, cat, hobby etc

There is so much a person could contribute without joining on a negative note with pre-conceptions about what everyone is like.

I don't pity you at all. Why should I? If your children don't want children and you don't want grandchildren everyone's happy. That's great, lucky you. You must have some very odd friends if they if all they do is talk about grandchildren and make you feel weird or negative. I think you need to make your feelings very clear to them. There are some posters here who don't have grandchildren, maybe they don't have children. Perhaps they join because they want to share interests with people of a similar age group.

I don't think it's an odd post on a grandparents forum. I think if we are honest we all know people who go on and on and on ....... [about their grandchildren]. Just not many on this site, but they are certainly out there.

I am a step grandparent with no children of my own. I have little contact with my grandson , don't babysit and certainly never give advice.

What a strange post on a forum for grandparents!

I just hope if the day ever comes when your children do give you a GC you won't repeat what you have said here "I do not want to babysit, or take children to the park, or have them to sleep over."
3 of my GC live thousands of miles away and I have missed the joy of doing all the things you say you don't want to do.

I don't think you are bitter or weird, just a sad person who wouldn't welcome a new baby into her family. A baby is a blessing.

I too wonder why you posted that Bionic were you wanting people to jump on you so you could say 'see people dont want to understand me' or did you want a wee argument with you being the wronged one Each to his own ...could it be, you do want them but haven't got any and it's kind of reversed psychology ' well I didn't want them anyway'
What would have happened if one of your kids had had your grandkids or still do have them, will you shun them or like all of us welcome them and get used to them with love and maybe be proud of them
I have 7 only talk about them to friends that also want to share stories
I have two friends with dogs that go on and on they also have grandkids but I know anything about them . I don't dislike dogs or cats but don't have any great need or want to hear about them but I politely listen because they are important to them

I too think it's a bit strange to seek out a website for the very thing you want to avoid that's the only bit that's weird
Good luck anyway

Understand more now that bionicwoman has clarified her post. I am like thatbags I can enjoy grandchildren without being totally immersed in their lives. Some people do go on a bit about their children and grandchildren but at least on GN you can avoid those threads. There are so many other things discussed I'm sure you will find something of interest.

Interesting, I had a friend who never wanted children but had two step children. Didn't want GC and wasn't the slightest bit interested in children talk BUT one of the boys has started a family and what a change, a dis now a doting grandma! I love my grandkids to bits but don't talk about the unless asked and have plenty of other interests.

I think you're starting a fight in an empty room
I like that Riverwalk
Must try to remember that!

It's a bit like the newly married couple; new wife is very annoyed with new husband and shouts and yells at him for quite some time. She then yells: 'what do you have to say then?' and he replies 'I think you've just had our first argument'.