Estranged Grandparents .

Have to agree with elena. By insisting all GPs have a right to see GC it could cause more problems than it solves.
How you reacted to the alienation gives me cause for concern.

Shadows I am very sorry for the pain you have been through and are still going through, and I have no wish to pry, but I can't help thinking that if an argument with your SiL has resulted in loss of contact with your DGS, you have no contact with your daughter either?

Hi jeanainsworth & elena,

I would like to see the law change to allow grandparents to see their grandchildren only if the child is NOT at risk from the grandparent. I would expect every case to looked into individually.
So many grandparents become alienated from their grandchildren because of divorce or because of a family breakdown and it is not fair on the children or the grandparents especially if the grandparents have been a regular part of the child's life. Grandparent alienation has had a devastating affect on me I went through depression, grieving and suicidal thoughts. I had to take two months off work as I could not function properly, I spent all day crying and I could not eat or sleep. I needed counselling to help me get to where I am today which isn't a good place its a better place than where I previously was. If alienation has had this affect on me God only knows how it has affected my grandson, he's only 5 and I have been in his life since the night he was born. I have been stopped seeing him purely out of spite.....because my son-in-law CAN! My grandson must wonder why I don't go to see him anymore and that breaks my heart. I fell out with my son-in-law NOT MY GRANDSON so why should he have to suffer.
I have not been on Mumsnet but as a mother myself I find it very disturbing that children are abused. I have been a nursery nurse for over 20 years and safeguarding children is my priority.
Although grandparents do not have any rights they can play a significant role in a child's life as well as giving them a link to their heritage (only if they are not a danger to the child as I have previously stated).There will always be people who oppose new laws and i am sure they will have very valid points.

According to the Duluth Wheel of Child Abuse 'Isolating children from their grandparents is abuse'
www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/Abuse%20of%20Children.pdf

That's great news for you, OP.

As for the petition- absolutely no way will I sign that. GPs don't have a 'right' to see their grandchildren. It's a privelege and a gift to have gc in one's life, not a right.

Heavens above Falconbird - as if losing your OH were not enough. You have all my good wishes and kind thoughts.

I am sorry to bore you all again ,but I dont think my previous message was quite clear .My son and his wife were divorced 14yrs ago and he ,like us, was prevented from seeing his sons .He has now formed a very close relationship with the elder boy and we are very hopeful that this will also happen with the younger one .
Once again Good Luck to all estranged grandparents -------dont give up hoping and trying .God Bless .

How do you want the law to be changed, shadows?
Not every grandparent is a figure of benevolence.
If you go on mumsnet you'll find many parents describing how their own parents abused them when they were young, and continue to do so into their children's adulthood. Should those grandparents have a 'right' to have access to their grandchildren?
I am not for one minute suggesting that applies to your own situation, but sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for.

Hi, after a family fall out I am now alienated from my grandson so I have decided to fight not just for myself but for every alienated grandparent. If you live in the UK please sign this petition then ask your friends to sign and share it. Its time the law in the UK was changed to give grandparents the right to see their grandchildren petition.parliament.uk/petitions/111520

A heartening story riclorian.

I had an auntie that my mother loathed and did everything in her power to
keep us apart.

When I reached my late 40s I contacted her, she was delighted, and we had some lovely conversations on the 'phone. Things were really great and I was looking forward to getting to know her better. My mum was furious.

We were alike in looks and interests (which is a reason my mum was so jealous of her.)

Sadly she passed away not long after our first contacts.

Life's too short for all the falling out in families. I was deprived of an auntie that I would have loved to have had in my life.

I have two gc who I see regularly and one that I see rarely. I think it's sad that this has happened (family rift after my Dh passed away) and I'm doing everything I can to improve the situation.

I think that everyone should take heart. Children grow up, and if they have difficult parents they generally realise this in the end, and once they are old enough they can make their own relationships. It is sad that grandparents miss the childhood part, but at least they have a future.
So pleased for you.

How wonderful for you riciorian! How kind of you, too, to share this note of hope with others! I'm not estranged from my GC, fortunately, but I know some GPs who are. They would see this as a good omen. I hope you don't mind if I tell them about it.

Obviously, DIL has issues with her sons now, the same way she did with you. Perhaps the same is true with your son, even if he just goes along with her. It's great that you're able to help the older GS! What loving GPs you must be!

It's odd though that the younger one believes you and DH over his parents. I'm sure you're telling the truth and they haven't been, but why would he think that? He must have had other experiences with their lying to him.

I have to admit I'm sorry your GSs are in such conflict with their parents. However, I'm glad they feel they can turn to you and DH and that it all led to this joyous reconciliation!

That's good to know!

How lovely for you riclorian.????