commitment

DD books time off herself if we give her plenty of notice. Other GP' s live abroad so no help there.

I agree, ginny.

Oh dear. This is why , even though family, some sort of agreement should be drawn up and agreed as far as child care is concerned. I can see that a sudden plans to take a holiday can cause problems but in general I do feel that parents must take responsibility for sorting child care and not expect others to alter their lives to suit them.

I care for my 4 DGCs as a commitment. I look after two DGCs before school , one all day and all four after school 2 x weekly. If DH and I want a holiday we try to give as much notice as possible and DDs understand that we are likely to take holidays. One DD is lucky as she has two other sets of grandparents & step grandparents nearby to help out with sufficient notice. Other DD is a teacher so cannot take time off in term time..we try to minimise being away in term time but cannot guarantee this. She books her girls into extra before/after school clubs or, if it is only a couple of days can usually find a friend to have them. As I only have the little one all day ion two days it is not too complicated to sort. I guess it all depends on how the arrangement is set up. Communication makes all the difference! Seems a bit thoughtless not to give a bit more notice!

jane, SIL has problems getting time off he ahs to ask weeks in advance. I refer to him as SIL although he is DD partner, its easier to type SIL and MIL than partners mother etc.

Is there a SIL to share the care for his kids?

part of the problem is, as well as lack of notice, there isn't anyone else to childmind so the MIL is effectively putting my DD out of a job as her holiday entitlement will run out and theres no way she can afford private childcare. I rally do think that grandparents who childmind should put themselves last for the few years it takes for the little ones to grow up to school age.
Also DD would have to have childcare from about 7am to about 6pm as she has almost a 2 hour commute both ways. I just wish I could help out it s so frustrating.

Hard to say ethel. Some grandparents want to make the most of their lives and some people have much more than one holiday a year. However, I reckon that if you have committed to babysitting/childcare you should stick to what you have actually agreed. Booking spur of the moment hols seems a bit inconsiderate under the circumstances though. I don't suppose anyone thought you'd be so seriously unwell :best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley! Its up to your DD to organise cover-you concentrate on getting better

Ethel, I have been child minder to several of our grandchildren. Holidays were always when we wanted them to be, but we had to inform the parents well in advance, usually a few months, so that they could arrange to be off work themselves. We couldn`t just up and go though, as your daughter`s MIL seems to be doing, it wouldn`t have been fair.