Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Page 2 of 2 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |

'Empty Nest Syndrome Part 2'

(29 Posts)
Add comment | Report
harrigran Sun 07-Oct-12 11:30:30

I agree Bags serves no purpose to tell GDs how upset you are. This is life, you bring children up to be independent so do not be surprised when they do their own thing.

Add comment | Report
Bags Sun 07-Oct-12 10:38:53

You have my sympathies, elsiejoy, and I hope you can work through this change in your life and become less sad about it. I don't agree with jess's suggestion that you tell them about your sadness/loneliness. At least, I wouldn't do that because I'm not sure it would be fair to burden them with that. That is just my feeling; other grans may disagree.

Add comment | Report
JessM Sun 07-Oct-12 08:39:19

Of course your feelings are normal and of course they are changing want to go and spend time with a new baby and friends.
Maybe you need to tell them in an adult manner that you are feeling sad and lonely the last few weeks and would like to have an arrangement with them (separately if they want) to see them - so that you have something to look forward to regularly. Maybe they would each like to visit separately, and bring a friend of their choice? Or maybe there is some new interest you could take up with one or both of them. Do you cook for them for instance, or do you teach them to cook something for you? I have a young friend around after tea sometimes and he likes nothing better than doing some cooking.

Add comment | Report
ElsieJoy Sun 07-Oct-12 07:49:12

I have twin grandaughters who live just round the corner from me, the rest of my family are miles away so I see them rarely. When my daughter and son-in-law had the twins I was very involved with helping and I looked after them for one whole day a week once my daughter had stopped breast feeding them at about three months. I continued to look after them one day a week until they went off to school at four and a half...then i went with them! Was a classroom assistant in the Reception Class for five years . Continued to have girlies for tea one day a week...and still do.

Then there was the helping out during school holidays/evenings/whenever needed etc as both daughter and son in law work, (daughter part time)

However, since September things have changed a lot...they are now nearly fourteen and puberty and sibling rivalry hit big time during school holidays and Grandma is now 'old' and someone they laugh at behind my back and don't want to come to tea each week preferring to go to friends or a much younger Aunt who now has a baby.

OK...all this is perfectly normal and a necessary part of them establishing their independence and so it should be...but why do I feel so bereft? Reminds me of when my last child zoomed off to University full of hope and new ideas.

I know I will eventually get used to this new chapter in our lives but at the moment I don't like it and feel so old and abandoned.

Did anyone else feel like this?

Page 2 of 2 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |