OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

After a particularly wet and windy playgroup outing DS2 aged 3, sat on the loo having a poo looking grumpy, 'I'm not happy..[pause] and I'm GLAD I'm not happy....'

Overheard on the bus.

Boy and mum standing up.

Boy "Mummy, you have legs just like my PE teacher"
Mummy "Oh dear, poor woman"
Boy "My teacher's a man"

My DD's two and a half year old is very interested in the coming baby. He asked if it was ready to come out of the tunnel yet.

A friend's four year old, when told he had 10 minutes to bed time, asked his mummy what toy he should play with for the 10 minutes. She suggested a cuddle. He looked at her and replied 'I'm not wasting my time on that!'

GC playing at my house yesterday, Daddy shouts to them " don't make a mess you two " GD1 to GD2 " just ignore him I* " Dad's face was a picture so much for the authority figure

Dgd nearly 4 Granny have you got a baby in your tummy? Me no why,
Dgd well it is quite big!

Same GD Granny do cows lay eggs?

Eloethan She'll go far!

We'd taken our granddaughter to the Natural History Museum. Apart from the animated dinosaur, there was nothing of much interest to her there. We passed a door that was marked "private". I turned round to see my granddaughter flat out on the floor trying to peer through the gap at the bottom of the door.

Later, we were at the top of the stairs leading down to the main entrance hall (which was packed because it was half term), she stood for a moment and said in a loud voice "Hello everybody, I'm here".

When I take the grandchildren(aged 5) to school it is a 5 mile trip from my house so,to avert any squabbling, we generally play "I Spy".Usually the answers are fairly easy to guess but yesterday DGS spied "something beginning with "m".We puzzled over it for ages before giving up." 'ment mixer" he proudly declared.Well done! said his sister.We had been following a cement mixer for miles !

Apparently DGD had noodles for supper.she said they were "stripes" love it!

I thought id posted this so apologise if I'm repeating myself. Seb, aged nearly 6, 'What does a half-husband do?'. After much discussion, it emerged that he meant a midwife!!

whenim That is the thing with being twins. They feed off each others ideas and conjure up more mischief than one alone would.

My new grandson is nicely jaundiced at the moment and his brother was discussing him with Mummy. "The baby IS very yellow Mummy, but he's not as yellow as you" Mummy has that lovely Italian skin which goes golden in the summer but tends to fade to yellow in winter

That's her crossed off your sister's Christmas list!

GD2 was sitting on my knee and talking into her toy mobile, " who are you talking to sweetheart ?" " your Mummy Grandma " " no sweetheart Grandma's mummy is an angel in heaven " " well who is that sitting over there ?" It was my sister, 5 years older than me. Easy mistake to make

when & anno

DS and DiL had cocktail shaker and book for Christmas. 8-year-old grandson announced that he would have 'sex on the beach' with a dash of peach schnapps.
He is also the one who has told his mum that he intends to be a comedian when he grows up. Peter Kaye is his role model.

Picked my grandsons (4) up after school and when they had eaten their tea, amidst much giggling, they announced they were going to put on a show.

'Sit there, nana, on the sofa.....THERE!!' I dutifully sat down as they collapsed laughing at the noise of two whoopee cushions placed deftly under me as I got seated.

'Ladeeez an' gennermen, boys and geeerls, may I present.....the trumping nana!!! Do it again, nana, stand up, go on.....!'

Seems they had been practising this for days, in anticipation of me picking them up today. Monkeys!

Faye only just seem your post from November

Took my dogs and my nearly 2 and a half year old grandson out for a walk this afternoon. He was dressed as a pirate. Over the hill appeared two huge Dalmatians, obviously young and very bouncy. One responded to his owner's recall the other came bounding up towards us at full pelt. Grandson, in the lead, assumes a pose; one foot well planted ahead of the other, pirate sword raised and ready and let out a blood-curdling 'aaarrrrggh' !!! Dog (bigger than grandson) halted in its track and starts to back up, then turns tail and runs back to owner (who luckily was amused, even impressed).

When all danger past grandson turns to me as says 'I was bwave nana, wathent I?'

Son and DIL had friends with their two young children visiting. While the parents were all deep in conversation GS 3 1/2 came out of the bathroom. Son asked him if he had wiped his bottom. 'I did,' piped in the other couple's nearly three year old daughter, who dotes on GS.

Reading these has made me smile so I'm off to bed in a happier mood. Thanks folk

Every time we go and visit my mother in law, my grandson asks her how old she is (90) and says, " But you're not going to die yet, are you?"
He's ten and his Grandad, her son, died this year, just after her birthday.
Needless to say, I do not take him too often!

When my daughters were very young DH was watching a TV programme about ancient Greece and the presenter was going into raptures about some nude female statues. When DS left the room our eldest daughter said to me "I don't think Daddy should be watching this programme because now he knows what ladies bottoms look like". Just then the picture showed a nude male statue, at which our youngest daughter piped up with "well, now we know what their pizzas look like"!!!!