Too large Plum tree

I've got the same problem with an apricot tree AlieO - and not one single fruit to boot No advice, but sympathy!

Even on dwarf rootstocks, plums are vigorous. I have a minaret plum and that has out grown all the other minaret trees I have, I just prune it back in summer.

I went crazy cutting back an apple tree that was driving us mad as it was bowed down to the ground with fruit which was covered in wasps by the million. The main trunk was so bowed over that I cut it off completely and the vertical "trunk" is now in fact what was one of the branches. It is fine and still gives us masses of fruit. More than we can cope with.

I bought what was supposed to be a maiden on a small root stock - five years later not only was it massive, but had never born a plum. Last year it was removed, this year it is providing some pretty hefty logs for our burner. I bought it from B&Q, the first time I had not bought a fruit tree from a good nursery. Never again.

Cut it down before it gets too expensive to remove.

Great for plums the first year, but not since....you may be right...but would my sister be upset?

Tell her it got a fungus and had to go, Alie.

Wot - lie?

Or tell her the truth and it got too big.

I got a lemon tree from my D. Now, I don't grow fruit, I don't drink. I do have lots of flowers, lilies, daffs, lady in the bath and cherry trees, buddleias etc. So a purchase of this sort would have been more welcomed and more appropriate.

I think the purchase was to imply that I am a lemon. She took great delight in buying me the Dawn French autobiography "Dear Fatty".

Can anyone think of any other reason she would buy a lemon tree?