New Limerick thread, following on...

My dog can speak English you see
Lets me know when he needs to pee,
Says, "Outside, please"

My dog can speak English you see
Lets me know when he needs to pee
Says, "outside please"
Then sniffs around trees

My dog can speak English you see
Let's me know when he needs to pee
Says, "outside please"
Then sniffs around trees
Back inside he says "Where's me tea "

Chip is a scruffy hairy pup

Chip is a scruffy hairy pup
and from his bowl he likes to sup

Chip is a scruffy hairy pup
And from his bowl he likes to sup
He's greedy that's true

Chip is a scruffy hairy pup
And from his bowl he likes to sup
He's greedy that's true
Especially if it's stew

Chip is a scruffy hairy pup
And from his bowl he likes to sup
He's greedy that's true
Especially if it's stew
No waste ‘cos he eats it all up.

Lots of birds on the telephone wires

Lots of birds on the telephone wires
Their beautiful singing inspires

Lots of birds on the telephone wires
Their beautiful singing inspires
A chorus of tweets

Lots of birds on the telephone wires
Their beautiful singing inspires
A chorus of tweets
Such beautiful treats

Lots of birds on the telephone wires
Their beautiful singing inspires
A chorus of tweets
Such beautiful treats
They sound like melodious choirs

But below them, the ground is a mess

But below them, the ground is a mess
They have to poop somewhere, I guess.

But below them, the ground is a mess
They have to poop somewhere, I guess.
But I wish they'd clean up

But below them , the ground is a mess
They have to poop some,I guess.
But I wish they'd clean up
Job for Super Pup

But below them, the ground is a mess
They have to poop somewhere, I guess
But I wish they'd clean up
Job for Super Pup
If they used toilets there'd be less

How do you toilet train a bird?

How do you toliet train a bird?
Nappies would be a bit absurd

How do you toliet train a bird?
Nappies would be a bit absurd
Try Tena for crows

How do you toilet train a bird?
Nappies would be a bit absurd
Try Tena for crows
That should stop the flows

How do you toliet train a bird?
Nappies would be a bit absurd
Try Tena for crows
That should stop the flows
The ground no longer looks like curd

A little bird once said to me

A little bird once said to me
Come out into nature and see

A little bird once said to me
Come out into nature and see
All the wonderful sights

A little bird once said to me
Come out into nature and see
The wonderful sights
So many delights

A little bird once said to me
Come out into nature and see
The wonderful sights
So many delights
But then I got stung by a bee

I'll listen no more to the birds

I'll listen no more to the birds
They never said sensible words

I'll listen no more to the birds
They never said sensible words
And tweets are now X