WRONG ANSWERS!!

It the day your cleaners come at least get up and let them in

Why do the squirrels steal the birds nuts

Because they are too idle to look for their own

Why do delivery drivers lie about no one being home?

They don't want the trouble of getting out of their vans and can finish the round in half the time.

Why do I forget my shopping list.

Chocolate wasn’t on the list and you want to pretend it was

Why is packaging getting harder to open

So you can practice throwing them across the room

Why do cats think they are the boss?

Because they don't think, they know.

When I'm swishing a fly away, why does it decide to target my eyes?

Because they can't find the drink to fall in.
Can I go back to Bilgeman.
Why do elephants have big ears.
Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.
Okay, to continue:
Why do huge cruise liners float

Because it's definitely a better idea than sinking.

Why has my lawn got more moss than grass now?

Because nobody likes a grass.

Who are you?

If I told you who I really am I would have to kill you.

Why do rockets take off straight up?

Because they don't like taking the scenic route.

Did the dish really run away with the spoon?

Only because he knew the cat was on the fiddle.

Why did Bill and Ben like Little Weed?

Because smoking it made them go loopylou!

Why is rain wet?

So that your umbrella can get some exercise!

Why does my cat curtsy to my neighbor?

To prevent a CATastrophe.

Ooops!

What is the secret of immortality?

Keep well away from the grim reaper.

Why is my gas bill so huge?

It wants to keep up with your electricity bill.

Why is grass green?

Because it envies what's growing on the other side of the fence.

Why do we have rolling hills?

So that people can ride sledges down them in winter

Why are old castles always in ruins?

They ran out of stone.

Do you like doughnuts?

Yes, cheese ones are best

Why do we need sleep

If we didn't sleep there would be a lot of beds hanging around with nothing to do.

What is Manga?

It's a fruit of course.

Where does all the dust go?

It organises regular coach trips to my flat, because it can have an undisturbed, relaxing break.

Who loves ya, baby?