Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway) (

They needed it for a day trip
To Brighton, I think, as its "hip"
I hope the sun shines
As I sip my fine wines
Which ensures I have a good kip!

I'll find a cheap B and B

I'll find a cheap B and B
For the hedgehog, the badger, and me

I'll find a cheap B and B
For the hedgehog, the badger, and me
They’ll share my bedroom

I'll find a cheap B and B
For the hedgehog, the badger, and me
They’ll share my bedroom
Though there won't be much room

Oh... that was rubbish.
Sorry!

I'll find a cheap B and B
For the hedgehog, the badger, and me
They’ll share my bedroom
Though there won't be much room
And I don't want to catch all their fleas!

MissAdvenure

^Oh... that was rubbish.
Sorry!^

It really did make me giggle!!

I need to look after my teeth

I need to look after my teeth
The ones left to me by Uncle Keith

I need to look after my teeth
The ones left to me by Uncle Keith
They sit in a jar

I need to look after my teeth
The ones left to me by Uncle Keith
They sit in a jar
In the boot of my car,

:21henetha

I need to look after my teeth
The ones left to me by Uncle Keith
They sit in a jar
In the boot of my car
With a wheel jack wedged underneath

I'd like to go to Leicester

I'd like to go to Leicester
In my posh new car, to test 'er

I'd like to go to Leicester
In my posh new car, to test 'er
It’s about ninety miles

I'd like to go to Leicester
In my posh new car, to test 'er
It’s about ninety miles
Which won't help my piles

A I'd like to go to Leicester
In my posh new car, to test 'er
It’s about ninety miles
Which won't help my piles
But I will drive on, for a dare

Always been afflicted by this

Always been afflicted by this
Since I was a young pretty, sweet, miss

Always been afflicted by this
Since I was a young pretty, sweet, miss
My bottom felt sore

Always been afflicted by this
Since I was a young pretty, sweet, miss
My bottom felt sore
I could tell you more

Always been afflicted by this
Since I was a young pretty, sweet, miss
My bottom felt sore
I could tell you more
But ignorance is really is bliss!

So I went to see doctor Macphee

So I went to see doctor Macphee
Who needed to look at my knee

So I went to see doctor Macphee
Who needed to look at my knee
So, imagine my shock

So I went to see doctor Macphee
Who needed to look at my knee
So, imagine my shock
When he took off his sock

So I went to see doctor Macphee
Who needed to look at my knee
So, imagine my shock
When he took off his sock
And wiggled his toes at me!

"Why doctor!" I said, all agog

"Why doctor!" I said, all agog
What's going on, you look like a frog!

Why doctor!" I said, all agog
What's going on, you look like a frog!
"Call me Kermit" he begged

Why doctor!" I said, all agog
What's going on, you look like a frog!
"Call me Kermit" he begged
I will! You are rather bandy-legged