More limericks with very strict rules and I'm standing by with a metre stick ;)

That's another bank holiday gone
Played table tennis and ping pong
Did marking and prep
Everything's done, yep
Now I’m ready for a sing-song

My singing voice is more a screech

That's another bank holiday gone
Played table tennis and ping pong
Did marking and prep
Everything's done, yep
Back to normal again, ding dong.

Postman, my parcel is missing

Postman, my parcel is missing
You might just have heard it hissing

Postman, my parcel is missing
You might just have heard it hissing
They've bought me a snake

Postman, my parcel is missing
You might just have heard it hissing
They've bought me a snake
Likes humans, and cake

Postman, my parcel is missing
You might just have heard it hissing
They've bought me a snake
Likes humans, and cake
And it often enjoys kissing.

The postmen get fewer and fewer

The postmen get fewer and fewer
Never a word said that's truer

The postmen get fewer and fewer
Never a word said that's truer
No wonder my mail

Postmen get fewer and fewer
Never a word said that's truer
No wonder my mail
Could challenge a snail

Postmen get fewer and fewer
Never a word said that's truer
No wonder my mail
Could challenge a snail
Royal Mail needs a reviewer

Once upon a time in Leicester

There lived a lady by the name of Esther

Once upon a time in Leicester
There lived a lady called Esther
She was so admired

Once upon a time in Leicester
There lived a lady called Esther
She was so admired,
Newly retired,

Once upon a time in Leicester
There lived a lady called Esther
She was so admired,
Newly retired,
Often dressed up as a jester

The jesters were olden day clowns

The jesters were olden day clowns
With caps with bells instead of crowns

The jesters were olden day clowns
With caps with bells instead of crowns
But now they wear suits

The jesters were olden day clowns
With caps with bells instead of crowns
But now they wear suits
And faux leather boots

The jesters were olden day clowns
With caps with bells instead of crowns
But now they wear suits
And faux leather boots
And party political gowns!

In Somerset, flash floods hit hard

In Somerset, flash floods hit hard
It swept the gravel off the yard

In Somerset, flash floods hit hard
It swept the gravel off the yard
But then even worse

In Somerset, flash floods hit hard
It swept the gravel off the yard
But then even worse
Look! A floating hearse

In Somerset,,flash floods hit hard
It swept the gravel off the yard
But then even worse
Look!A floating hearse
With a skeleton keeping guard

Spooky creatures stir at midnight

Spooky creatures stir at midnight
And graveyard ghosts make me turn white

Spooky creatures stir at midnight
And graveyard ghosts make me turn white
They peer through windows

Spooky creatures stir at midnight
And graveyard ghosts make me turn white
They peer through windows
And the fear just grows