July 21 Limericks

I awoke after an interesting dream
I lay in a bath of ice-cream
Vanilla I think
Though there was some pink
Things are not always what they seem

There was a young lady called Jane

There was a young lady called Jane
Who sometimes could be a large pain

There was a young lady called Jane
Who sometimes could be a large pain
She always talked loudly,

There was a young lady called Jane
Who sometimes could be a large pain
She always talked loudly,
rude and mouthy,

There was a young lady called Jane
Who sometimes could be a large pain
She always talked loudly,
rude and mouthy,
No doubt she was a bit insane.

I kept her at a good arm’s length

I kept her at a good arm’s length,
For fear she'd sap all of my strength!

I kept her at a good arm's length,
For fear she'd sap all of ny strength!
But she's very persistent

I kept her at a good arm's length,
For fear she'd sap all of ny strength!
But she's very persistent
But I'm tough and resistant

I kept her at a good arm's length,
For fear she'd sap all of ny strength!
But she's very persistent
But I'm tough and resistant
I can shout with all of my ‘brength’ (breath)

There’s a secret I’d like to share

There’s a secret I’d like to share
Really! I’m surprised you would dare

There’s a secret I’d like to share
Really! I’m surprised you would dare
Oh c'mon, I'll keep it very quiet...

Wyllow3 - I’m adjusting it slightly - 88558

There’s a secret I’d like to share
Really! I’m surprised you would dare
I'll keep it quiet...
There’ll be a riot

There’s a secret I’d like to share
Really! I’m surprised you would dare
I'll keep it quiet...
There’ll be a riot
Really? I'm not going there!

Has your name ever been in the news?

Has your name ever been in the news?
Yes, when I stopped paying my dues

Has your name ever been in the news?
Yes, when I stopped paying my dues
The Taxman, he came ?

Has your name ever been in the news?
Yes, when I stopped paying my dues
The Taxman, he came ? blush
“Your excuse is lame”

Has your name ever been in the news?
Yes, when I stopped paying my dues
The Taxman, he came?
“Your excuse is lame”
I then began feeling the blues

I must find the money somehow

I must find the money somehow
Sell all my clothes that are "wow"

I must find the money somehow
Sell all my clothes that are "wow"
My see-through lace top

I must find the money somehow
Sell all my clothes that are "wow"
My see-through lace top
Got from the gift shop

I must find the money somehow
Sell all my clothes that are "wow"
My see-through lace top
Got from the gift shop
My mother, she gave me a row

Prim and proper woman was she

Prim and proper woman was she
She’d have put me over her knee

Prim and proper woman was she
She’d have put me over her knee
Her smack quite precise

Prim and proper woman was she
She’d have put me over her knee
Her smack quite precise
Somewhere Not Nice

Prim and proper woman was she
She’d have put me over her knee
Her smack quite precise
Somewhere Not Nice
And not just once, two or three.

Then sent to bed with no dinner