July 21 Limericks

For him, steaks should be cremated
So I burn them while he's waited
He likes them on chips
And plenty of dips
Then, his appetite is sated.

I wish I could love a salad

I wish I could love a salad
My dieting would be valid

I wish I could love a salad
My dieting would be valid
No buns and no cake

I wish I could love a salad
My dieting would be valid
No buns and no cake
But hips like a snake

I wish I could love a salad
My dieting would be valid
No buns and no cake
But hips like a snake
Would my complexion be pallid?

A bun now and then cheers me up

A bun now and then cheers me up
With a drink of tea in a cup,

A bun now and then cheers me up
With a drink of tea in a cup,
Now and then, a real feast

A bun now and then cheers me up
With a drink of tea in a cup,
Now and then, a feast
Now, tastebuds are teased

A bun now and then cheers me up
With a drink of tea in a cup.
Now and then a feast
Now, tastebuds are teased
I'll happily sit here and sup!

I might do a buffet for tea

I might do a buffet for tea
But first I need a quick pee

I might do a buffet for tea
But first I need a quick pee
When bladders are full

I might do a buffet for tea
But first I need a quick pee
When bladders are full
While stranded in Hull

I might do a buffet for tea
But first I need a quick pee
When bladders are full
While stranded in Hull
And too far to go to the sea!

There’s loos in McDonald’s I hear

There's loos in McDonald's I hear
But I must purchase food, that's clear

There's loos in McDonald's I hear
But I must purchase food, that's clear
But I shouldn't get a drink

There's loos in McDonald's I hear
But I must purchase food, that's clear
But not get a drink
I know there’s a link

There's loos in McDonald's I hear
But I must purchase food, that's clear
But not get a drink
I know there’s a link
That will teach me not to drink beer

And now we're hurtling into June

And now we're hurtling into June
So will the sun be shining soon?

And now we're hurtling into June
So will the sun be shining soon?
It is where I live!

And now we're hurtling into June
So will the sun be shining soon?
It is where I live!
Here in Tel Aviv

And now we're hurtling into June
So will the sun be shining soon?
It is where I live!
Here in Tel Aviv
Where our 10 am is your noon

A photographer from Reading

A photographer from Reading
Worked at a large gothic wedding

A photographer from Reading
Worked at a large gothic wedding
Dracula's daughter

A photographer from Reading
Worked at a large gothic wedding
Dracula's daughter
Drank blood not water

A photographer from Reading
Worked at a large gothic wedding
Dracula's daughter
Drank blood not water
And the werewolf groom was shedding

On the whole the reception went well