LIMERICKS 17 (contd)

And I have no horns to draw in
My bank balance is rather thin
I’m short on the ready cash
So I really can’t be flash
But I will just bear it and grin.

I could write a cheque which will bounce

I could write a cheque which will bounce
The finance official would pounce

I could write a cheque which will bounce
The finance official would pounce
I’ll tell them in jest

I could write a cheque which will bounce
The finance official would pounce
I'll tell them in jest
You're such a pest

I could write a cheque which will bounce
The finance official would pounce
I'll tell them in jest
You're such a pest
And leave with a bit of a flounce

Wimbledon’s weather has been good

Wimbledon’s weather has been good
And with strawberries, the perfect food

Wimbledon’s weather has been good
And with strawberries, the perfect food
Sue Barker is leaving soon

Wimbledon’s weather has been good
And with strawberries, the perfect food
Sue Barker is leaving soon
She was there, this noon

Wimbledon’s weather has been good
And with strawberries, the perfect food
Sue Barker is leaving soon
She was there, this noon
And is probably in a sad mood.

After all these years of tennis

After all these years of tennis
I'll swap to bowls with dear Dennis

After all these years of tennis
I'll swap to bowls with dear Dennis
Though shoulders are weak

After all these years of tennis
I'll swap to bowls with dear Dennis
Though shoulders are weak
And my knees tend to squeak

After all these years of tennis
I'll swap to bowls with dear Dennis
Though shoulders are weak
And my knees tend to squeak
My long nails are a true menace.

I was always a tall, gangly kid

I was always a tall, gangly kid
They called me a jumped up squid

I was always a tall, gangly kid
They called me a jumped up squid
Long legs and big feet

I was always a tall, gangly kid
They called me a jumped up squid
Long legs and big feet
Was never called ‘sweet’

I was always a tall, gangly kid
They called me a jumped up squid
Long legs and big feet
Was never called ‘sweet’
I was always short of a quid

I’m rolling in money right now

I’m rolling in money right now
My old enemies wonder how

I'm rolling in money right now
My old enemies wonder how
But that's my secret

I'm rolling in money right now
My old enemies wonder how
But that's my secret
Between me and my egret

I 'm rolling in money right now
My old enemies wonder how
But that's my secret
Between me and my egret
My heron invests with great wow

I’m setting up a sanctuary

I’m setting up a sanctuary
Wonder how busy it will be

I’m setting up a sanctuary
Wonder how busy it will be
We’ll have funds to raise

I'm setting up a sanctuary
Wonder how busy it will be
We'll have funds to raise
There are means and ways

I'm setting up a sanctuary
Wonder how busy it will be
We'll have funds to raise
There are means and ways
But are they effective? Yes, very!

My neighbor is wearing a hat