Limericks 17

Returned home at the break of dawn
Had to stifle many a yawn
Him indoors got mad
It’s only a fad

Returned home at the break of dawn
Had to stifle many a yawn
Him indoors got mad
It’s only a fad
He’ll be right as rain in the morn

There’s a strange, strange noise from next door

There’s a strange, strange noise from next door
Like someone banging on the floor

There’s a strange, strange noise from next door
Like someone banging on the floor
Upstairs there’s a face

There's a strange, strange noise from next door
Like someone banging on the floor
Upstairs there's a face
Myself, I must brace

There's a strange, strange noise from next door
Like someone banging on the floor
Upstairs there's a face
Myself, I must brace
Could be the ghost of Mr Moore

He used to live in Number Ten

He used to live in Number Ten
With his faithful dog named cute Dilyn

He used to live in Number Ten
With his faithful dog named cute Dilyn
They hardly had food

He used to live in Number Ten
With his faithful dog named cute Dilyn
They hardly had food
The dog’s in a mood ?

He used to live in Number Ten
With his faithful dog named cute Dilyn
They hardly had food
The dog's in a mood
He's pacing around in his pen.

There was a young fogey, Jacob

There was a young fogey, Jacob
Never stepped out without make-up

There was a young fogey, Jacob
Never stepped out without make-up
He painted his lips
And wiggled his hips

There was a young fogey, Jacob
Never stepped out without make-up
He painted his lips
And wiggled his hips,
With two fingers held his tea-cup

He was known as Jacob La Rue

He was known as Jacob La Rue
Who got into a right old stew

He was known as Jacob La Rue
Who got into a right old stew
His falsies fell off

He was known as Jacob La Rue
Who got into a right old stew
His falsies fell off
When he had a cough

He was known as Jacob La Rue
Who got into a right old stew
His falsies fell off
When he had a cough
Gave up and instead, had a brew.

I think I’ll take a very long walk

I think I’ll take a very long walk
Whilst munching a sandwich of pork

I think I’ll take a very long walk
Whilst munching a sandwich of pork
With coffee to go?

I think I’ll take a very long walk
Whilst munching a sandwich of pork
With coffee to go?
Actually, I’m low

I think I'll take a very long walk
Whilst munching a sandwich of pork
With coffee to go?
Actually, I'm low
I'll stock up from the shop in York.

I don't like to eat in the street

I don’t like to eat in the street
Not sure who I might meet

I don’t like to eat in the street
'Cos I'm not sure who I might meet
Some say that it's rude

I don’t like to eat in the street
'Cos I'm not sure who I might meet
Some say that it's rude
And that it looks crude

I don’t like to eat in the street
'Cos I'm not sure who I might meet
Some say that it's rude
And that it looks crude
I do it whilst having a Tweet

The Jubilee is nearly here