Limericks 14

My neighbours are really quite odd
They lecture on the word of god

My neighbours are really quite odd
They lecture on the word of god
But bible thumping

My neighbours are really quite odd
They lecture on the word of god
But bible thumping
Does not beat jumping

My neighbours are really quite odd
They lecture on the word of god
But bible thumping
Does not beat jumping
To kiss ground Madonna has trod.

From CrazyH:
My neighbours are really quite odd
They’re Big Bertha and Titchy Todd

From CrazyH:
My neighbours are really quite odd
They’re Big Bertha and Titchy Todd
They are chalk and cheese

My neighbours are really quite odd
They're Big Bertha and Titchy Todd
They are chalk and cheese
And like to keep bees

My neighbours are really quite odd
They're Big Bertha and Titchy Todd
They are chalk and cheese
And like to keep bees
And walk their dog, big hairy Spod.

Todd says Spod's his much bestest friend

Todd says Spod's his much bestest friend
Dog owning I can recommend

Todd says Spod's his much bestest friend
Dog owning I can recommend
Walkies keep us fit

Todd says Spod's his much bestest friend
Dog owning I can recommend
Walkies keep us fit
It's best not to sit

Todd says Spod's his much bestest friend
Dog owning I can recommend
Walkies keep us fit
It's best not to sit
On your backside the whole weekend

But oh, indoors is so cosy

But oh, indoors is so cosy
Sitting on the sofa with friend Rosie

But oh, indoors is so cosy
Sitting on the sofa with Rosie
We knit and natter

But oh, indoors is so cosy
Sitting on the sofa with Rosie
We knit and natter
Eat and get fatter

But oh, indoors is so cosy
Sitting on the sofa with Rosie
We knit and natter
Eat and get fatter
H says we’re lazy but so’s he!

We start the day with such good plans

We start the day with such good plans
Our faces are washed, with clean hands

We start the day with such good plans
Our faces are washed, with clean hands
We read the day’s news

We start the day with such good plans
Our faces are washed, with clean hands
We read the day’s news
And then feel the blues

We start the day with such good plans
Our faces washed, with clean hands
We read the day's news
And then feel the blues
As the day makes many demands.

There was an old biddy who's gravy

There was an old biddy who's gravy
Was too lumpy and too savoury

There was an old biddy who's gravy
Was too lumpy and too savoury
But she lapped it up

There was an old biddy who's gravy
Was too lumpy and too savoury
But she lapped it up
Drank it with a cup

There was an old biddy who's gravy
Was too lumpy and too savoury
But she lapped it up
Drank it from a cup

There was an old biddy who's gravy
Was too lumpy and too savoury
But she lapped it up
Drank it from a cup
Said “This will make my hair wavy”.

But it stayed straight as a poker

But it stayed straight as a poker
Made her look quite like a joker