VERSATILE VERSE 3

He’s nothing like my idea of a hero
In fact, the score I would give him is zero.

He looks so silly in his Superman pants

When I was in labour, he ran from the room
Nowadays he’d probably watch it on Zoom!

He’s nothing like my idea of a hero

I’ll wait for the drinks and the offers of food
I should be lucky, he’s not that good !

When I was in labour, he ran from the room

No need for a sundress, the holidays off
I’m going back to bed with my non-Covid cough!

I’ll wait for the drinks and the offers of food

No, can't do that, my dentures will crack
with all this rain I'll have a new mac

No need for a sundress, the holiday's off

First purchases, not counting hair nails and coffee?
Then I’ll treat myself to the chewiest toffee

No, can’t do that, my dentures will crack

It will all add up, I’m sure of that
But I’ll try not to fret when the bill knocks me flat.

First purchases, not counting hair nails and coffee?

We’re the cavalry coming to the rescue
I’ll spend, spend, spend, won’t have a clue

It will all add up, I’m sure of that

So let's give them a bit of support
And thank them for holding the fort

We’re the cavalry coming to the rescue

Then it'll be shopping out to help out
Some shops are bankrupt, I've no doubt

So let's give them a bit of support

I really must stop this madness
I will, I will when we're over lock down sadness

Then it'll be shopping out to help out

But then I go online yet again
Another purchase, another bargain !

I really must stop this madness

But no! There in black and white is my madness,
I stare at it with anger and sadness.

But then I go online yet again

And then the thrill of the purchase overcomes me,
Shame that the size of the bill never numbs me

But no! There in black and white is my madness,

I always forget to use my discount voucher
‘Cos most of the time, I’m just a browser

And then, the thrill of the purchase overcomes me

But I'm spending too much money online
More by accident than by design

I always forget to use my discount voucher

Then wait with excitement for it to arrive.
Without these little treats I forget I'm alive!

But I'm spending too much money online

I mull it over for two weeks or more
Then go with the first one I’d chosen before.

Then wait with excitement for it to arrive.

I prefer to be left alone to consider every option
I tell them I’m someone who treads with caution

I mull over it for two weeks or more

Some of them just like to hear their own voice
Makes it very difficult for me to make a choice

I prefer to be left alone to consider every option

I won’t spend hours being passed between departments,
Where assistants make longer, irrelevant comments.

Some of them just like to hear their own voice.

They charged me for phoning! I should have known better!
Next time I’ll probably just send a letter

I won’t spend hours being passed between departments

They charged me for phoning! I should have known better!

New line please Mollygo

Money all gone but nothing to show
Would I order from them again? Certainly NO!