VERSATILE VERSE 3

My housekeeping is going a long way
Since a chicken lasts till the third day

But by then I’m fed up and I hope for change,

But by then I’m fed up and I hope for change,
I paid a lot for it because it was free range

It’s not that I’m mean but I do hate waste

It's not that I'm mean but I do hate waste
I never throw anything away in haste

But a good clear out helps fill the charity shops

But a good clear out helps fill the charity shops
They need a little boost to their stocks

When I went last, their rails were bare

When I went last, their rails were bare
But when shops open I’ll donate my share

I quite like my wardrobe being minimalistic

I quite like my wardrobe being minimalistic
And I'm short of cash so am being realistic.

Anyway, who needs twenty seven pairs of shoes?

Anyway, who needs twenty-seven pairs of shoes?
Who indeed? I’ve got just 7 (with four that I use).

‘Twas Imelda Marcus who first set the trend.

Twas Imelda Marcos who first set the trend
Her shoes filled the closet from end to end

Her wealth was made up of ill gotten gains

Her wealth was made up of ill gotten gains
She and her husband held the nation's reins

But power like that was never going to last

But power like that was never going to last
And at 91 now her power days are past.

New topic? OK , I’ve got two metal hens

New topic? I've got two metal hens
The sort that don't need to be kept in pens

They are on a shelf where I can admire them

They are on a shelf where I can admire them
Next to a rose with a wire stem

I collect bric-à-brac, even junk,

I collect bric-à-brac, even junk,
It goes back to when I was a Punk

I hope one day it will make me rich

I collect bric-à-brac, even junk,
Hoarding it all in grandma’s trunk

I’m hoping to attend the Antiques Roadshow

Oops too late.... I’ll follow this one

I hope one day it will make me rich
If things run smoothly without a hitch

You’ll say you knew me when I was broke

you’ll say you knew me when I was broke
You didn’t ignore me, like other folk

But I’m wary now of your wily ways

You'll say you knew me when I was broke
I'll smile and treat you to a glass of Coke

Hang on... I'm more generous than that

Oh dear. Too late will go with crazygran

But I'm wary now of your wily ways
You might want my friendship for a way that pays

You're quite the business woman, that I can see

You're quite the business woman, that I can see
You’ll do your best to step over me

I’ve learned to become hard as nails

I’ve learnt to become as hard as nails
And block hurtful comments, if all else fails

But give me a warm and welcoming community

But give me a warm and welcoming community
Where folks don’t only act with impunity

They concentrate on the bigger picture

They concentrate on the bigger picture
And don’t treat my words with censorious stricture

A world like that would be much better

A world like that would be much better
They don’t go by each and every letter

I’m easy going and not a prude

I’m easy going and not a prude
I'm usually pleasant and never rude

Unless someone really gets up my nose

Unless someone really gets up my nose
I’ll take her out and turn on the hose

Prickly Pam from down the road