VERSATILE VERSE 3

I'll need somewhere flat so I'll give the Lakes a miss
But nowhere with spiders or snakes that hiss

How about Norfolk which is nice and flat

How about Norfolk which is nice and flat
My Aunty went there and on the ground she sat

Me, I’ll go for a boatride on the Broads

Me, I'll go for a boatride on the Broads
But not in the summer when visitors come in hoards

It's nice in the Spring when everything is fresh

It's nice in the Spring when everything is fresh
Once dh and I had a picnic there, leaving dc in a creche

It was a rare romantic treat in those far off days

It was a rare romantic treat in those far off days
When my hair wasn’t so full of greys

A deep auburn gloss is needed - I’m so tempted!

A deep auburn gloss is needed - I’m so tempted!
Go ahead and do it, you're not exempted

From being free to choose your own hair shade

From being free to choose your own hair shade,
It’s go with the grey, or perhaps get a wig made.

Bald men are handsome or so I’ve heard tell,

Bald men are handsome or so I’ve heard tell,
They’re pretty good at the ‘other thing’ as well

I’m too old to bother with any kind of man

I'm too old to bother with any kind of man
I'd rather have a cup of tea and a sandwich with ham

Well that is what I'm feeling like today

Well that is what I'm feeling like today
I'll let the world go by and keep out of the way

May be tomorrow I will try online dating

May be tomorrow I will try online dating
My last hookup was excruciating

He had laryngitis and had lost his voice

He had laryngitis and had lost his voice.
With some dates that would be an excellent choice!

With others a deeper, rich voice is amazing

With others a deeper, rich voice is amazing
Oh I agree, I just sit there gazing,

I could listen for hours with undisguised lust

I could listen for hours with undisguised lust
Till he undoes his coat and exposes his bust!

I’d say “Pardon me Sir, please be heard and not seen!”

I’d say “Pardon me Sir, please be heard and not seen!”
“Your face makes you look intensely mean”

I need a kindhearted man to soothe my brow

I need a kindhearted man to soothe my brow
And Mr Right would certainly know how

To keep me in luxury wanting for nowt

To keep me in luxury wanting for nowt
someone with refinement ...definitely not a lout!

A companion who loved theatre really would be great

A companion who loved theatre, really would be great.
There’s such a lot of dramas and musicals I rate.

Preceded by a dinner in a restaurant in town.

Preceded by a dinner in a restaurant in town
All tricked up in a sparkling jewelled crown

Or maybe just a little black dress

Or maybe just a little black dress
What a shame my hair's such a mess

Any hairdressers open out there?

Any hairdressers open out there
Well my granddaughter really has flair

And she offered to crop me via zoom

And she offered to crop me via zoom
I said “how?” and she said “Boom !!!”

My crowning glory has lost its sheen

My crowning glory has lost its sheen
It take all my time just to keep it clean

I'm desperate for a cut, colour and blow dry

I'm desperate for a cut, colour and blow dry
Maybe I’ll just treat myself to a stir fry.

My housekeeping is going a long way