VERSATILE VERSE 3

Of course there'll always be one who disputes this
It could be that awfully awful Geography Miss...

I can’t tell North from South or East from West

I'm actually very sweet and kind
Most people agree ... I think you'll find

Of course there'll always be one who disputes this

My mother used to call me a"lazy lump"
It made me so angry it gave me the hump

I'm actually very sweet and kind

Enough of that subject! The weather is fine.
But I’ve done nothing since I woke at 9

My mother used to call me a “lazy lump”

Do I have enough ‘rolls’ to last me though this.
You probably do, but sit down, or you’ll miss!

Enough of that subject! The weather is fine.

I'll probably feel sick which really serves me right
I’ll be to and fro to the loo all night

Do I have enough ‘rolls’ to last me through this

But the kids will be home, don’t want to share
I'm very greedy so there's none to spare.

I'll probably feel sick which really serves me right

But the kids will be home, don’t want to share

I just got a parcel, from Cornish Cream Teas!
Can’t wait to open it, shall I do so at 3?

I think they must all want to hide from the press
But being famous, they’ll just have to suffer, I guess!

I just got a parcel, from Cornish Cream Teas!

I don't like being photo'd so how do they cope?
will all the rows stop ... is there any hope?

I think they all must want to hide from the press

How do they keep their stiff upper lip
Or resist sarky comments? A virtual zip?

I don’t like being photo’d so how do they cope?

but I'm lucky I don't have as many problems as the Queen
If I had I wouldn’t look so serene

How do they keep their stiff upper lip?

But my favourite is when it's set to Bubbles
The bubbles make me smile and forget all my troubles

but I'm lucky I don't have as many problems as the Queen

I've ordered a new bath and a lovely power shower
On the Needle setting you should see me cower

But my favourite is when it’s set to Bubbles

I typed her name in Google and got fruit and bathroom fittings
There was so much stuff for sale I needed several sittings.

I've ordered a new bath and a lovely power shower

Now she is very sweet and such a pretty colour
She makes other story heroines look definitely duller.

I typed her name in Google and got fruit and bathroom fittings

I'll keep mum, I'm not so dumb
Let's read instead about Victoria Plum

Now she is very sweet and such a pretty colour

For her 'Red Riding-hood' involved some nudity
I hesitate to tell you as it involves some crudity

I'll keep mum, I'm not so dumb

Neighbour Lorna Loon, now that’s another story
She did some peculiar things whilst telling me a story.

For her ‘Red Riding-hood’ involved some nudity!?

There’s really no end to our insanity
But it never ever leads to depravity

Neighbour Lorna Loon, now that’s another story

If I get wet and sing operatic tunes
They’ll think hubby and I are a pair of loons

There’s really no end to our insanity

It gets cold and and wet and rainy
And the neighbours think I'm too zany

If I get wet and sing operatic tunes

Though some fizz in the garden on a sunny day is great
It perks up the mood, but you can’t stay out late

It gets cold and and wet and rainy

All perfect when slumped on the sofa alone
and better than too much gin, mustn't lower the tone.

Though some fizz in the garden on a sunny day is great