Limericks 14

He’s certainly a weird looking guy!
Should I ignore him and walk on by?
If I do, I’ll feel guilty
But he's all silty
I'll give him a wash, I'll try.

And when he comes up nice and clean

And when he comes up nice and clean
The clear water will give him a sheen

And when he comes up nice and clean
The water will give him a sheen
He’s quite a handsome fella

And when he comes up nice and clean
The water will give him a sheen
He’s quite a handsome fella
He's got his eyes on Bella

And when he comes up nice and clean
The water will give him a sheen
He’s quite a handsome fella
He's got his eyes on Bella
And she won't share him, she's ever so mean.

I need to find a fella with cash

And when he comes up nice and clean
The water will give him a sheen
He’s quite a handsome fella
He's got his eyes on Bella
And she won't share him, she's ever so mean.

I need to find a fella with cash

Sorry! Don't know how that happened!

I need to find a fella with cash
Debonair, with a little moustache

I need to find a fella with cash
Debonair, with a little moustache
To far away places we'll go

I need to find a fella with cash
Debonair, with a little moustache
To far away places we'll go
If he's got the dough

I need to find a fella with cash,
Debonair, with a little moustache
To far away places we'll go
If he's got the dough
And live high on sausage and mash!

If I find one who just fits the bill,

I might just stop taking the Pill

Oops, sorry

If I find one who just fits the bill
I might even stop taking the Pill

If I find one who just fits the bill,
I might even stop taking the pill
There'll be an addition

My secret ambition

oh, not again! Time for bed, methinks!

If I find one who just fits the bill,
I might even stop taking the pill
There'll be an addition
My secret ambition

If I find one who just fits the bill,
I might even stop taking the pill
There'll be an addition
My secret ambition
Is to have our little Jack or Jill

I’ll be so proud when pushing a pram

I’ll be so proud when pushing a pram
And when the little one calls me Mam

I'll be so proud when pushing a pram
And when the little one calls me Mam
I'll beam from ear to ear

I'll be so proud when pushing a pram
And when the little one calls me Mam
I'll beam from ear to ear
And down a pint of beer

I'll be so proud when pushing a pram
And when the little one calls me Mam,
I'll beam from ear to ear
And down a pint of beer
I think I might name her Pam.

But what if this babe is a boy?

But what if this babe is a boy?
A boisterous bundle of joy

But what if this babe is a boy?
A boisterous bundle of joy.
As I’ve got 4 already

But what if this babe is a boy?
A boisterous bundle of joy.
As I’ve got 4 already
I've got to go steady

But what if this babe is a boy?
A boisterous bundle of joy.
As I've got four already
I've got to go steady
A nanny I'll have to employ.

I'm doing the lotto tonight