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Gossip from around my way...

(119 Posts)
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MissAdventure Fri 07-Feb-20 23:03:12

Just a silly idea for a game, which may not work out, but...

I thought I would tell you about my friend Mary.
Her relationship ended with that man she was so keen on, when she hid a rocket under his chair.

He went through the roof!

Mind you, the man before - the one in the brass band.
Well, she ended that..

She said he was always blowing his own trumpet.

Anyone else have any gossip from round their way?

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QuaintIrene Sun 15-Mar-20 06:20:58

My cat never stops telling stories. Meow meow meow all day
She always has a long tale.

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MissAdventure Fri 14-Feb-20 00:24:39

I need help, I think. I have an addiction to sleeping pills.. after a while, one didn't work so I took two, then........ zzz zzz ......zzz.. ...zzz....

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MissAdventure Fri 14-Feb-20 00:12:16

My plumber has taken up a new hobby.

Tap dancing.

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Callistemon Fri 14-Feb-20 00:10:08

The prawn went to the clam's cocktail party.

He pulled a mussel.

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Callistemon Fri 14-Feb-20 00:08:28

I have kleptomania

When it gets bad I take something for it.

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Yennifer Thu 13-Feb-20 23:48:17

The man at number 10 is avoiding me. He said he had to have a steroid injection in his arm.

I asked "anabolic?“

He said “No! just my arm! “

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MissAdventure Thu 13-Feb-20 23:34:43

My goat's just had babies.
I kid you not!

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MissAdventure Thu 13-Feb-20 22:35:48

Me and some friends went to a fancy dress party dressed as woodlice.

It was so funny!
We literally rolled up!

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MissAdventure Thu 13-Feb-20 22:27:03

grin

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Doodle Thu 13-Feb-20 22:25:20

My brand new deckchair broke when I sat on it.

I thought, that’s a pain in the a*

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Oopsadaisy3 Thu 13-Feb-20 22:15:35

I just saw an ad on eBay ‘ radio for sale £1.00 , good working order but volume stuck on full.

I thought, I can’t turn that down.

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Oopsadaisy3 Thu 13-Feb-20 22:13:07

I told my husband that he should embrace his mistakes

He hugged me

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Doodle Thu 13-Feb-20 21:24:09

My neighbours cat keeps pooing in my garden

I posted it back through her letterbox. It was a bit of a catastrophe (cat ass trophy!)

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MissAdventure Thu 13-Feb-20 21:08:07

"Norman, I want my own money!" I said.
"So I'm going to work at the tobacco factory" I said.

"So you can put that in your pipe and smoke it!"

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MissAdventure Thu 13-Feb-20 20:16:30

Brilliant! grin

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Oopsadaisy3 Thu 13-Feb-20 20:10:56

A lorry carrying Vicks Vapour Rub tipped over and blocked the road, amazingly there was no congestion for 8 hours

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MissAdventure Thu 13-Feb-20 20:05:20

grin

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Oopsadaisy3 Thu 13-Feb-20 20:03:18

My friend gave up his seat on the bus to an old lady

Lost his job as a bus driver

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MissAdventure Thu 13-Feb-20 19:47:37

Well, Sandra certainly wasn't happy about finding herself on the moving conveyer belt at the fish processing factory.

In fact, she was gutted.

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Oopsadaisy3 Thu 13-Feb-20 16:22:41

To the thief who stole my anti depressants

I hope you’re happy.

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Oopsadaisy3 Thu 13-Feb-20 16:19:35

smile

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MissAdventure Wed 12-Feb-20 22:48:59

Our local chemist has started to stock feminist products now.
I thought I'd give them a try, so I bought a tube of pink, smelly ointment.

Its called Germolene Greer.

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MissAdventure Wed 12-Feb-20 22:42:41

grin

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Doodle Wed 12-Feb-20 22:36:55

My neighbour wears such short skirts she shows her knickers when she bends over.

Except when she’s with her husband Nicholas ?

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Doodle Wed 12-Feb-20 22:30:50

My neighbour always takes a trunk on holiday with her.

She and the elephant are very attached.

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