EVEN MORE VERSATILE VERSE !

Promise me you won’t change your mind
Making the arrangements was such a bind

I’ve always wanted to be your Missus

Whisk me away to Gretna Green
I’m saying yes while you’re still keen

Promise me you won’t change your mind

You said I'd always stay in your heart
We were meant for eachother right from the start

Whisk me away to Gretna Green

You said I'd always stay in your heart
"Not after all these years, you little tart !!"

Her heart broken for the umpteenth time

Who's there? he cried loudly
Your first love she answered proudly

You said I'd always stay in your heart

But when he woke he was not alone
Stuck to his ear was his phone

Who's there? he cried out loudly

Too old for this malarkey, he said,
After this song I'm going back to bed.

But when he woke he was not alone

Performing with a pose and a strut
His knees knocking and sticking out butt.

Too old for this malarkey, he said

He walked in with a swagger
Just like Mick Jagger

Performing with a pose and a strut

He opted for a blazer instead
And a jaunty cap angled on his head

He walked in with a swagger

Some of them got stuck to the lining too
Poor Ken didn't know what to do

He opted for a blazer instead

Adding gold sequins to Ken’s new jacket!
Using glue, not sewing as she couldn't hack it

Some of them got stuck to the lining too

I love all things girly and sparkly
Said Barbie, as she sniggered darkly

Adding gold sequins to Ken’s new jacket!

I'll need some new running shoes
With pink and gold hues

I love all things girly and sparkly

I'll then need to lie down for at least a week
The help of a chiropractor I will seek

I'll need some new running shoes

I’ll run a lap of the field, then get on my bike,
Swim five miles then go for a hike.

I'll then need to lie down for at least a week

Let’s leave it till the morrow
When some Lycra I will borrow.

I’ll run a lap of the field, then get on my bike

My energy just got up and went
I had to lay down and vent

Let's leave it till the morrow

Make an effort - I must really try
But I completely fail, and that's no lie.

My energy just got up and went

Others who're an awful lot fitter
Pass those who are a quitter

Make an effort - I must really try

Otherwise I might just cheat
In my attempts to beat

Others who’re an awful lot fitter

I should really vary my exercise
Unfortunately my pedometer never lies

Otherwise I might just cheat

I do a hundred press-ups every day
With muscle ache I sure do pay

I should really vary my exercise

I’m a world class athlete, you see
I should have a gold medal, arguably

I do a hundred press-ups every day

Sorry...

I'm a world class athlete, you see