Versatile Verse 2

He brings me a cup of tea in bed
Then off he goes to his garden shed

He potters and tidies and whistles a tune

He potters and tidies and whistles a tune
to hear him happy lifts all gloom

He comes back at nightfall with a smile on his face

He comes back at nightfall with a smile on his face
A strut and a swagger don’t look out of place

I wonder where he’s been on his adventure

I wonder where he’s been on his adventure
It's such a shame he forgot to wear his denture.

But I still love him, no matter what

But I still love him, no matter what
Teeth or no teeth, he's still hot

We'll go to the dentist order a new set

We'll go to the dentist order a new set
Will cost far more than you thought I'll bet

But restoring his youthful look will be worth the bank loan

But restoring his youthful look will be worth the bank loan
Even if I have to suppress a groan

He can go on the TV - 'Look 10 years Younger'

He can go on the TV - Look 10 Years Younger
Then we can all say ‘Phwoar - wot a stunner’!

He’ll turn into a proper Casanova

He’ll turn into a proper Casanova,
His good eye is definitely a rover

But apart from his teeth and his eyes he's not bad

But apart from his teeth and his eyes he's not bad
Although he's as deaf as a post which is sad

Too vain to wear a hearing aid which he claims to not need

But apart from his teeth and his eyes he's not bad
Oh, his bulbous nose, I forgot to add.

When he blows it, the whole town is on alert

Too vain to wear a hearing aid which he claims to not need
I'll need to get my daughter in to tactfully plant that seed

He'll listen to her, that's definite coz she's definitely his darling

He'll listen to her, that's definite coz she's definitely his darling
If I try, we'll end up quarreling

Next, he needs to sort out his wardrobe

Next, he needs to sort out his wardrobe
His loud check suits make my eyes strobe.

It's either that or t-shirt and jeans

It's either that or t-shirt and jeans
I'll have to take him shopping by any means.

Let's hope he'll agree to a nice three-piece

Let’s hope he’ll agree to a nice three piece
Instead of trainers, trickiest and a hooded fleece

I like a man to be smart and well-tailored

trickiest = trackies.....Freudian?

I like a man to be smart and well-tailored
Unlike the tat he has often favoured

Patrick Grant's style is my ideal

Patrick Grant's style is my ideal
Don't like seeing a man down at heel

Why be poor and look it, my mother always said

Why be poor and look it, my mother always said
It takes very little to hold up your head.

No one knows what food's on your table

No one knows what food’s on your table
I buy cheap but always check the label

To make sure it’s fairly low in calories

To make sure it’s fairly low in calories
I'll stick to Linda mcartney's packet of goodies

Oh this talk of food is making me hungry

Oh this talk of food is making me hungry
I fancy some cheese or chocolate or any other sundry

Just mention any food and I'm easily tempted

Just mention any food and I'm easily tempted
But I know that later I will have relented

I need something which tastes nice but is calorie-free

I need something which tastes nice but is calorie-free
If you find it, please share it with me.

All that I find is tasteless and bland