Grand Christmas Ball....all welcome

I'm seriously tempted but won't Fabulous evening with friends

Giant crackers

Holly - for poking the person you don’t like with

Icicles - crystal of course.

What a fun game.

Jolly Christmas jumpers

Knockers. Festooned with tinsel ?

Listeria. Soop's sausage rolls are the work of the devil!

Mistletoe

Noggin of whatever takes your fancy

Olives to dunk in your martini

Party hats

Quaffing

Quad bikes.....for drunken riding around the grounds ( me and Lord Lemongrove are renowned for it)?

Roasted hogs.....mmmm

Salmon sandwiches

Trays of indigestion remedies

Ukuleles......I always have mine to hand

Unisex toilets

Vegetarian options

Wild flowers, in wreaths, all around the room. Don't know where you'll find them at this time of year though

You’re loaded - you can fly them in on private jet from the far flung reaches ???

Z Beds. ....for the drunken lot

Alka Seltzer for the next morning

Baritone to sing carols

Cauliflower cheese, one of the buffet options.

Drum roll - as Lady Lemongrove makes her grand entrance.