The neighbours are out in the garden today Cutting grass with the mower they bought on Ebay But the blades are too blunt So they took a punt And let the lawn turn to hay.
Hermione loves tap-dance lessons She must have had over 50 sessions The show is next week She'll be at her peak Time to gather together all her possessions
Little Joe is the one for athletics But dad wants him to study genetics He went off to Uni Intending not to get moody But found he loved the paralytics
Little Joe is the one for athletics But dad wants him to study genetics He went off to Uni Intending not to get moody He thought sport and science were a good mix.
So he decided to join 'em and get blotto What's for dinner? My favourite risotto? No Joe, it's just chips With various dips Delicious, variety’s my motto
By 'eck Mother I don't know what to do The roast is burnt and the yorkshires too
By 'eck Mother I don't know what to do The roast is burnt and the yorkshires too The gravy’s full of lumps Everyone's got the dumps And on the pudding the cat has had a chew
By eck Mother I don`t know what to do The roast is burnt and the Yorkshires too The gravy`s full of lumps Everyone`s got the dumps That`s why there`s a queue for the loo!
So I think this calls for a takeaway That`s not something we have every day Is it Indian or Chinese It`ll be sure to please Especially if I don't have to pay!