Limericks 8

There was a young lassie from Doune
Who found kindle books a great boon
When lying on the sand
With tablet in hand

There was a young lassie from Doune
Who found kindle books a great boon
When lying on the sand
Electronic novel in hand

There was a young lassie from Doune
Who found kindle books a great boon
When lying on the sand
With tablet in hand
She'd stay there from high noon to full moon

One warm day she lay below high tide

One warm day she lay below high tide
Trying her fat tummy to hide

One warm day she lay below high tide
Trying her fat tummy to hide
But the waves rolled in

One warm day she lay below high tide
Trying her fat tummy to hide
But the waves rolled in
Right up to her chin

One warm day she lay below high tide
Trying her fat tummy to hide
But the waves rolled in
Right up to her chin
And that was the last she was spied

She made landfall in Northern France

She made landfall in Northern France
Where a Frenchman looked at her askance

She made landfall in Northern France
Where a Frenchman looked at her askance
He asked how did you get here

She made landfall in Northern France
Where a Frenchman looked at her askance
He asked how did you get here
She said, "I'm not too clear"

She made landfall in Northern France
Where a Frenchman looked at heraskance
He asked howdid you get here
She said "I`m not too clear"
"But please do not ask me to dance!"

She felt quite undressed in her cossie

She felt quite undressed in her cossie
And a target for every mozzy

She felt quite undressed in her cossie
And a target for every mozzy
I must phone a friend

She felt quite undressed in her cossie
And a target for every mozzy
I must phone a friend
My clothing to send

She felt quite undressed in her cossie
And a target for every mozzy
I must phone a friend
My clothing to send
But my goodness, she's so bossy.

A lynx has escaped from Britain's worst zoo

A lynx has escaped from Britain's worst zoo
He said he was tired of eating fondue

A lynx has escaped from Britain's worse zoo.
And joining him was a kangaroo

Just pipped to the post by Amagran.

A lynx has escaped from Britain's worst zoo
He said he was tired of eating fondue
He spotted a Greggs

A lynx has escaped from Britain's worst zoo
He said he was tired of eating fondue
He spotted a Greggs
Had ham and eggs

A lynx has escaped from Britain's worst zoo
He said he was tired of eating fondue
He spotted a Greggs
Had ham and eggs
And a veggie sausage roll too

How safe is the pound in your pocket?

How safe is the pound in your pocket?
About as safe as my gold locket

How safe is the pound in your pocket?
About as safe as my gold locket
It's in my firm grip

How safe is the pound in your pocket?
About as safe as my gold locket
It's in my firm grip
I'll try not to slip

How safe is the pound in your pocket?
About as safe as my gold locket
It's in my firm grip
I'll try not to slip
Besides, I still have the bank docket.

I bought a new car, very sporty