Limericks 7

Believing cash could buy her dreams
Her credit card bill brought her screams
She now scrimps and scrapes
Living only on crepes
And a packet of custard creams.

I'm hooked on these limericks, they keep me going

I'm hooked on these limericks, they keep me going
I'd sooner write these, than do the mowing

I'm hooked on these limericks, they keep me going
I'd sooner write these, than do the mowing
So long as we're true to the shape

I'm hooked on these limericks, they keep me going
I'd sooner write these, than do the mowing
So long as we're true to the shape
Avoiding lots of red tape

I'm hooked on these limericks, they keep me going
I'd sooner write these, than do the mowing
So long as we're true to the shape
Avoiding lots of red tape
I will find the words, to keep them flowing.

I love the challenge of finding a rhyme.

I love the challenge of finding a rhyme.
Finding the right word is a feeling sublime

I love the challenge of finding a rhyme.
Finding the right word is a feeling sublime
But metre's important

I love the challenge of finding a rhyme.
Finding the right word is a feeling sublime
But metre's important
So says my great aunt

I love the challenge of finding a rhyme.
Finding the right word is a feeling sublime
But metre's important
So says my great aunt
As long as it amuses, I don't care a dime.

Why am I still all cosy in bed

Why am I still all cosy in bed
When 'Rise and Shine' is what I just said

Why am I still all cosy in bed
When 'Rise and Shine' is what I just said
I'm lethargic and lazy

Why am I still all cosy in bed?
When 'Rise and Shine' is what I just said
I'm lethargic and lazy
My brain's gone all hazy

Why am I still all cosy in bed?
When 'Rise and Shine' is what I just said
I'm lethargic and lazy
My brain's gone all hazy
So I'll stay here all day with my Ted.

The woman next door is in her bikini

The woman next door is in her bikini
From where I'm standing it looks a bit teeny

The woman next door is in her bikini
From where I'm standing it looks a bit teeny
She's sitting in a paddling pool

The woman next door is in her bikini
From where Im standing it looks a bit teeny
She`s sitting in a paddling pool
Right next door to the school

The woman next door is in her bikini
From where Im standing it looks a bit teeny
She`s sitting in a paddling pool
Right next door to the school
And has on her head a cute beanie.

Fred once thought he'd eat a raw turnip

Fred once thought he'd eat a raw turnip
He offered me a bite, water I had to sip

Fred once thought he'd eat a raw turnip
He offered me a bite, water I had to sip
It tasted weird

Fred once thought he`d eat a raw turnip
He offered me a bite, water I had to sip
It tasted weird
Just as I feared

Fred once thought he'd eat a raw turnip
He offered me a bite, water I'd to sip
It tasted weird
Just as I feared
It caused my stomach to burn up.

Fred owns a restaurant in Stirling

Fred once thought he`d eat a raw turnip
He offered me a bite, water I had to sip
It tasted weird
Just as I feared
No more will that thing pass my lip(s).

I don't feel like brushing my teeth tonight

I don't feel like brushing my teeth tonight
So I'll skip it they'll be alright

I don't feel like brushing my teeth tonight
Even though they look a terrible sight

I don't feel like brushing my teeth tonight
So I'll skip it they'll be alright
Into the glass jar they go