Limericks - 3

I made a cheese and onion pie last night
Whooppee `cos it turned out just right
We”ll have it for lunch
I have this real hunch
For seconds the kids will fight!

There once was a Gransnet pedant

There once was a Gransnet pedant
Whose wording was great I do grant

There once was a Gransnet pedant
Whose wording was great I do grant
She got quite incensed

I made a cheese and onion pie last night
Whooppee cos it turned out just right
We'll have it for lunch
I have this real hunch
It will be to everybody's great delight

Somebody has drunk all the wine

Oops sorry I'm still on cheese and onion pie! Must have forgot to go to next page

There once was a Gransnet pedant
Whose wording was great I do grant
She got quite incensed
She increasingly tensed

There once was a Gransnet pedant
Whose wording was great I do grant
She got quite incensed
She increasingly tensed
In preparing for her very next rant.

Sunday,a laid back day of the week

Sunday, a laid back day of the week
To do too much would make one creak

Sunday, a laid back day of the week
To do too much would make one creak
So I slob on the sofa

Sunday, a laid back day of the week
To do too much would make one creak
So I slob on the sofa
I'm such a loafer

Sunday, a laid back day of the week
To do too much would make one creak
So I slob on the sofa
I'm such a loafer
Only rising to go take a leak. ?

When Ethel went into the kitchen

When Ethel went into the kitchen
She saw her dog scratchin' and itchin'

When Ethel went into the kitchen
She saw her dog scratchin' and itchin'
She yelped, "he's got fleas!"

When Ethel went into the kitchen
She saw her dog scratchin' and itchin'
She yelped, "he's got fleas!"
“And bad breath, if you please!”

When Ethel went into the kitchen
She saw her dog scratchin' and itchin'
She yelped, "he's got fleas!"
“And bad breath, if you please!”
That's it, the animal's for ditchin'"soft

I'd much rather have a wee cat

soft

When Ethel went into the kitchen
She saw her dog scratchin' and itchin'
She yelped, "he's got fleas!"
"And bad breath, if you please!"
In the morning that dog she'll be ditchin'

Its time for Mildred to climb those stairs

Great minds think alike Jangran!

Barberdice Where were we?I

I'd much rather have a wee cat

I'd much rather have a wee cat
Who purrs and stays on her mat

I'd much rather have a wee cat
Who purrs and stays on her mat
She'll catch the odd mouse

I'd much rather have a wee cat
Who purrs and stays on her mat
She'll catch the odd mouse
Though she won't guard the house

I'd much rather have a wee cat
Who purrs and stays on her mat
She'll catch the odd mouse
Though she won't guard the house,
But I've bought an alarm for that.

I'm ready to climb up the stairs

I'm ready to climb up the stairs
But I have to put away all the chairs

I'm ready to climb up the stairs
But I have to put away all the chairs
The family's been round for a party