Limericks - 3

This year the Queen's ninety two
I wonder if they will have a big ' do '
Polish up the tiaras
Invite the Obamas
But surely not President Who??

International Day of Women

International Day of Women
This might send a few men's head spinning

International Day of Women
This might send a few men's head spinning
They must know we're equal

International Day of Women
This might send a few men's head spinning
They must know we're equal
As we are all just people

International Day of Women
This might send a few men's head spinning
They must know we're equal
As we are all just people
And that argument I hope we are winning!

Is anyone here tired of football?

Is anyone here tired of football?
If so, just give me a phone call

Is anyone here tired of football?
If so, just give me a phone call,
We could go out for lunch,

Is anyone here tired of football?
If so, just give me a phone call,
We could go out for lunch,
We'd be a great bunch

Is anyone here tired of football?
If so, just give me a phone call,
We could go out for lunch,
We'd be a great bunch
And drinking so much we would fall

There was a little toadstool

I meant to say

There was a little toadstool from home

There was a little toadstool from home
Who decided to go for a roam

There was a little toadstool from home
Who decided to go for a roam
He bumped into a large mushroom

There was a little toadstool from home
Who decided to go for a roam
He bumped into a large mushroom
Such a fun guy, Boom, Boom!

There was a little toadstool from home
Who decided to go for a roam
He bumped into a large mushroom
Such a fun guy, Boom, Boom!
But with hair that was needing a comb.

Have you seen that weird film called "The Crypt"?

Have you seen that weird film called "The Crypt"?
I'm not sure that it even has a script

Have you seen that weird film called "The Crypt"?
I'm not sure that it even has a script
The director was rubbish

Have you seen that weird film called "The Crypt"?
I'm not sure that it even has a script
The director was rubbish
The cast were so snobbish

Have you seen that weird film called "The Crypt"?
I'm not sure that it even has a script
The director was rubbish
The cast were so snobbish
I definitely was not gripped.

I've looked after grand-children all day

I've looked after grand-children all day
So when do I get to play?

I've looked after grand-children all day
So when do I get to play?
They're here for the night

I've looked after grand-children all day
So when do I get to play?
They're here for the night
And they’ll wake at first light

I've looked after grand-children all day
So when do I get to play?
They're here for the night
And they’ll wake at first light
No wonder my hair's turning grey!!!

There was an old man with two whiskers!!

There was an old man with two whiskers!!
Who liked to try on ladies knickers

There was an old man with two whiskers!!
Who liked to try on ladies knickers

French fancies or thong

There was an old man with two whiskers!!
Who liked to try on ladies knickers

French fancies or thong
Whill singing a song