Limericks - 2

Well, now that I'm ninety years old
I'm moving to Stow-on-the-Wold
I've heard its quite racy

Well, now that I’m ninety years old
I’m moving to Stow-on-the-Wold
I’ve heard it’s quite racy
And according to Tracey

Well, now that I'm ninety years old
I'm moving to Stow-on-the-Wold
I've heard its quite racy
- their underwear’s lacy

Well, now that I’m ninety years old
I’m moving to Stow-on-the-Wold
I’ve heard it’s quite racy
And according to Tracey
The gossips too rude to be told!

My daughter is having a baby

My daughter is having a baby
If a girl, she's calling her Stacey

sorry should read!!!!

My daughter is having a baby
If a girl, she's calling her Sadie

My daughter is having a baby
If a girl, she's calling her Sadie
A boy would be Bert

My daughter is having a baby
If a girl, she's calling her Sadie
A boy would be Bert
Tho’ that could change to Kurt

My daughter is having a baby
If a girl, she’s calling her Sadie
A boy would be Bert
Tho’ that could change to Kurt
Or something more gender-neutral? Well maybe!

It’s snowing this morning again

It’s snowing this morning again
Causing chilblains of terrible pain

It’s snowing this morning again
Causing chilblains of terrible pain
Gonna rub them with cream

It’s snowing this morning again
Causing chilblains of terrible pain
Gonna rub them with cream
Or else I'll just scream

It’s snowing this morning again
Causing chilblains of terrible pain
Gonna rub them with cream
Or else I'll just scream
Or sell up and go off to Spain

I really should tidy the house

I really should tidy the house
Before Him Indoors starts to grouse

I really should tidy the house
Before Him indoors starts to grouse
But reading is better

I really should tidy the house
Before Him indoors starts to grouse
But reading is better
I'll start with a letter

I really should tidy the house
Before Him indoors starts to grouse
But reading is better
I'll start with a letter
Then some history by old A L Rowse

I’m off on a car trip to Stoke

I’m off on a car trip to Stoke
Where I'm meeting a v charming bloke

I’m off on a car trip to Stoke
Where I'm meeting a v charming bloke
I've not seen him before

I’m off on a car trip to Stoke
Where I'm meeting a v charming bloke
I've not seen him before
What delights are in store!

I’m off on a car trip to Stoke
Where I'm meeting a v charming bloke
I've not seen him before
What delights are in store!
... sadly a dream from which I've awoke!

(Sorry about the grammar )

One day as I walked down the road

One day as I walked down the road
I encountered a well-dressed toad

One day as I walked down the road
I saw a posh car being towed

One day as I walked down the road
I encountered a well-dressed toad
His embroidered britches

One day as I walked down the road
I encountered a well-dressed toad
His embroidered britches
Had me in stitches