Limerick

I once had a rabbit called Nobby
Who had ten babes in our lobby

I once had a rabbit called Nobby
Who had ten babes in our lobby
I said, "It's no joke,

I once had a rabbit called Nobby
Who had ten babes in our lobby
I said, "It's no joke,
And went off for a smoke,

I once had a rabbit called Nobby
Who had ten babes in our lobby
I said, "It's no joke,
And went off for a smoke,
Told the rabbit to find a new hobby.

A tenor who sang on the choir

That should read "in"!

A tenor who sang in the choir
Got so hot that he used to perspire

A tenor who sang in the choir
Got so hot that he used to perspire
He ripped off his clothes

A tenor who sang in the choir
Got so hot that he used to perspire
He ripped off his clothes
Being all bellicose

A tenor who sang in the choir
Got so hot that he used to perspire
He ripped off his clothes
Being all bellicose
And sang whilst he hung from the spire

I once knew a woman from Crewe

I once knew a woman from Crewe,
Who found herself stuck down the loo

I once knew a woman from Crewe,
Who found herself stuck down the loo
Her hubby guffawed

I once knew a woman from Crewe,
Who found herself stuck down the loo
Her hubby guffawed
While he spluttered “Good Lord”

I once knew a woman from Crewe,
Who found herself stuck down the loo
Her hubby guffawed
While he spluttered “Good Lord”
What on earth are we going to do?

A young lady who hailed from North Cheam

A young lady who hailed from North Cheam
Had a very extraordinary dream

A young lady who hailed from North Cheam
Was obsessed with keeping her house clean

Far North

A young lady who hailed from North Cheam
Had a very extraordinary dream
She'd become a mermaid

A young lady who hailed from North Cheam
Had a very extraordinary dream
She'd become a mermaid
But her tail was all frayed

A young lady who hailed from North Cheam
Had a very extraordinary dream
She'd become a mermaid
But her tail was all frayed
And her hair was an odd shade of cream

A woman went walking one day

A woman went walking one day
And passed a camel on the way

A woman went walking one day
And passed a camel on the way
Three mules and a donkey

A woman went walking one day
And passed a camel on the way
Three mules and a donkey
Some frogs that were wonky

A woman went walking one day
And passed a camel on the way
Three mules and a donkey
Some frogs that were wonky
And a horse with hooves made of clay.

A very large woman from Dorset

A very large woman from Dorset
Search high and low for a corset

A very large woman from Dorset
Search high and low for a corset
To flatten her tum and squash in her bum