Ageism

Ageism is about how others perceive and treat us because of the age we are and not really about how we feel about ourselves.
It's all in their minds not in our own.

What happens to your mind may be all in the mind, but what happens to your body is not. I’m 81.

It’s true it’s just a number.
Your outlook on life is what ages you.

But as avitor says, ageism is about how others see you.

We have friends who also say age is just a number but they don't suffer from health problems as Mr J does. Our lives have been turned upside down in the last few years but we have adapted to cope otherwise we would have just gone under. Covid aside we are unable to take holidays abroad any longer or to do the things that we planned for retirement. That's life and you just have to get on with it. Unfortunately our healthy friends don't see that and assume that we should be able to socialise as we did in the past. If only!

I agree with the various negatives which might apply here. Whereas, so far, I'm exceedingly lucky with my health I can imagine feeling or acting my age if I was in constant pain or enduring any chronic disability. At the moment I'm decidedly fit and active but I don't take too much credit for this. Rather think the gene pool is the major contributor and I had nothing to do with that. Sure, I apply some healthy practices but they need a stable foundation to be of any value. Never think of my age (other than with silent amazement) but leave that to the others around me.

As people start having babies much later in life now it is sad to think that many grandparents will not see the adults their grandchildren become.

My parents didn't see my children as adults.
I think plenty of young people miss out entire on grandparents - and some, even worse, miss out on parents.

cornishpatsy, people do live longer now, on average, though. I didn't know my grandparents, except (two) as a small child - so have things really changed much?

My working life has been in medical based acute, rehab also long term care, and I stand by what I say.

these observations are valid, but they are not really discussing ageism.
ageism is akin to sexism or racism; ie treated people less well, or looking down on them, simply based on their age.

Judy, those people are acquaintances rather than friends.

Correct Welbeck on both points ageism is treating people badly and with inequality and Judy54 has been let down by friends that don’t get it.
But I still refuse to turn into an “old person” to sit around quietly giving anyone an opportunity to look down on me….

Ageism is how people treat you. I’ve watched this happen in work and read it on GN.
When they look at a colleague and wonder aloud whether they should carry on working because they’re taking someone else’s job. That’s ageism.
When it’s my turn for the comments, I’ll say it’s ageism.

I mentioned on another thread that ageism is playing WW1/2 songs to folk perceived as old. A DJ once said to us I'll play 'your' music in a while (he played Glen Miller). When we didnt get up he asked why. My OH said Queen would have been better and I added T.Rex, Barry White or M People. I think some youngsters think everyone over 50 was born in the war.

Thanks welbeck these are long standing friends that we have know for 45 years and yes dogsmother we feel let down by the fact that they don't get it. Whilst our lives have changed theirs have stayed the same and being fit and active means that they are lucky enough to carry on doing what they have always done. We do to a certain extent feel side-lined because of Mr J's health but that is their problem and not ours. We have a loving, caring family, other friends and great neighbour's who all give us support when needed.

avitorl

Ageism is about how others perceive and treat us because of the age we are and not really about how we feel about ourselves.
It's all in their minds not in our own.

I agree, avitor1. One can actually make use of what one imagines are other people's 'takes' on what an elderly person should be like. I'm actively cultivating my harmless, dotty old woman image (with death stare eyes when called for !).

Sadly, I think if we let ourselves look old when we don’t have to and don’t have an open, questioning mind we will be treated as old. I have health issues but defy anyone to say I look anything like 70 or behave as they might perceive a 70 year old does.

Interesting topic from Shielasue whom I am glad keeps herself well and try's to eat sensibly. Unfortunately it is not just sedentary people who become ill it can affect anyone of any age at any time. Mr J was a sportsman, an athlete and an avid gym goer, never smoked and drank moderately. He looked after his body but it did not prevent him from having long term and life threatening illnesses which began at the age of 60. Who knows how or why these things manifest themselves and why some people remain fit and healthy and others don't. Most people will have some health problems as they age it is quite normal. So for those of us (including me) who are hale and healthy long may it last!