Morning everyone, I hope you're all managing to stay safe in this lovely weather but I know that the heat doesn't suit everyone.
It's a piece of paradise here and we've been enjoying taking it easy on our decking and watching the golfers who brave the heat while we relax under large parasols.
Two of our neighbours are coming over for a mid afternoon BBQ before Mr. S. goes bowling this evening and will be bringing their little Maltese, who Poppy has been a lot more tolerant of since we lost little Pip.
As you say Yogin, none of us know what we'll do when we come face to face with our EAC until it happens. He may have nodded if we'd made eye contact but I avoided doing so.
No Whiff, I'm not a better person that you. Many scenarios have gone through mind over the years of what, if anything I would do if we 'met' and what happened on Friday was just one of them.
Well done for tackling those cobbles 
. I hate walking over the areas we have near here especially if I'm not expecting too and am in heels but it's a good excuse (not that I need one) to hold onto Mr. S.'s arm.
It's great that your UTI didn't spoil your holiday and that you received such good care. You certainly managed to pack a lot in and remind me of the Duracell Bunny 
.
We bought a cool mat for Poppy but despite our encouragement, she wont even stand on it which is rather frustrating when she's struggling with the heat.
Enjoy the 
if you can everyone and stay safe xx
Gransnet forums
Estrangement
Smiles glad you feel empowered and in control after 13.5 years . Like I said you are a better person than me. The chance of ever seeing my son again is really zero. I live in the north he lives in the south east. So I would never need to go anywhere near where they live . All the things I need are in my area.
Well had a good holiday apart from a slight hiccup. Tuesday woke with an UTI but Morecambe urgent treatment centre where brilliant. No urgent treatment centres in Lancaster. The nurse practitioner I saw was lovely and gave me some advice. She was only in her late 20-early 30's but had a hysterectomy said she didn't want kids anyway. But because of low oestrogen she had frequent UTIs and thinks that why I have had 3 this year so far. She gave me a through exam and 3 days worth of antibiotics and as usual my sample was clear it always is . On her advice booked an appointment to see my GP 1st June . Because I knew 3 days worth of antibiotics wouldn't clear up the infection . I phoned my surgery Thursday and spoke to the doctor and had a weeks worth of antibiotics delivery yesterday a couple of hours after I got home.
But you know me won't let anything stop me . Monday I tackled my nemesis picture above. The dreaded cobbles my stick slipped few times it was worse coming down. Didn't get to look around the museum as it was guided tours only and I can't stand still while someone whittles on hurts to much . Better when I keep moving .
When to Kendal as planned had a lovely time if anyone goes there you must go to the Joshua tree cafe . Food is delicious had baked gnocchi in tomato sauce with loads of melted cheese on top. And chocolate pudding and custard. I was so full only had ice cream for dinner because I need to eat to take the antibiotic otherwise I wouldn't have needed anything else.
There was a bus stop by the hotel which went to Lancaster bus station. Weather was awful during my stay but had give up trying to get to the maritime museum as it was rainy to heavy. Good job as it was closed.
Went to Morecambe on Thursday only stated 90 mins . Disappointed with the Eric Morecambe statue it was life like but not very big. Saw bus to Lancaster bus station so could it. Had mystery bus tour. Then went to my favourite place for lunch in Lancaster.
I liked Lancaster and the people where friendly and helpful. Hard on the old knees. But glad I went.
Sea goes out very far a Morecambe and they where filming The Bay but didn't go and see where.
Enough of my rambles . Take care all.
Oh Smiles, so it happened! We all wonder what we would do, my DD & I have spoken about that situation, but until you're there, you really cannot say. Fancy your estS nodding to his dad, he must have seen you first. 
Morning everyone.
You summed up the situation brilliantly eddie It's so terribly sad that the person who literally owes his life to you is now just another customer in the supermarket.
I read your post out to Mr. S. who simply said wow; that's a perfect summary of where we are.
TBH it wouldn't have made any difference to me if our GS's had been with him. Like their father they're strangers to us, more so because we've never known them.
I have a temper too Whiff 
. It has tempered over the years but I didn't even feel anger which I was sure I would if I ever came face to face with him again, but apart from a momentary and slight heart flutter, I felt nothing at all.
I always thought I'd have plenty to say and judging by the expression on his face as he came toward me, I think he thought so too but he's not worth my time, my anger or my pain.
He got to the check out just before us and we could have queued behind him but I went to a another one. Mr. S. said he'd never seen anyone load and pack their shopping so quickly, as if he couldn't get out fast enough.
Perhaps the encounter was harder for him than it was for us.
It's been almost 13.5 years so maybe he thought I'd have plenty to say which I can't blame him for, because I always thought I would too. We wont mention it to DS whose the eldest because I said years ago that I would no longer get into discussions about his brother, unless he was worried and/or upset and needed to talk.
Bless him, the number of times his name's come up in conversation since then will be in single figures.
I'm pleased and TBH proud of myself for not speaking to him Bridey. I've always regretted responding to the email he sent two days after my mum died; I should have left it.
It was so wrong of him after years of estrangement when my grief for mum was so raw to get in touch. I was furious and I often think that that should have been my response; at least it would have been an honest one.
Doing something like that could give an EP false hope, that that might be the beginning of seeking reconciliation and when it doesn't happen, they could be left with worrying that their response was somehow lacking and that's why there was no further contact.
Thank goodness I didn't go down that road and neither did
Mr. S. when he did the exact same thing when his mum died.
It did draw a line Allsorts and one that I'm truly thankful for.
Our move here did bring us much closer geographically and the market town where we saw him, is where we have our flat and get our weekly shopping because we check the post.
So after 18 months of living here it was bound to happen eventually, there was always an inevitability about it and if it
happens again, it wont be the shock it was yesterday.
That's something we'll never know love0c. I did wonder if he'd already spotted us and was doing his best to avoid what happened but if that were the case, why did he walk down the aisle we were walking up? 
.
What did surprise me was the difference of my reaction between yesterday and when my cousin told me my brother had asked her to pass on his contact details, which I have anyway, just before Christmas.
I had a panic attack, felt sick and burst into tears all in the space of 5 minutes before knowing I would never want to contact him again and then feeling calm and I suppose empowered.
Thank goodness that didn't happen yesterday as I just felt empowered when I refused to acknowledge his presence. For the first time in 13.5 years I actually felt that I was in control, because I was .
Afternoon everyone.
I hope you enjoyed your holiday Whiff and were able to put that awful experience behind you. I'm still struggling to believe that anyone could be so unpleasant 
. They know you for goodness sake but it looks as if you didn't know them at all.
Well I know some of us often wonder what we'd do and how we'd feel if we suddenly came face to face with our EAC; well we know longer have to wonder because it happened today.
I was ahead of Mr. S. when I saw him coming toward me in the supermarket . My heart gave the tiniest flutter as I looked straight ahead and ignored him so I don't know if he acknowledged me.
As he approached his dad, he gave a slight nod of the head which Mr. S. reciprocated.
I felt nothing and Mr. S. felt a little sadness but nothing more.
I don't know if it's a good thing to be so near yet so far from the son you adored and be virtually void of any feeling, but it is what it is and I can't help but be relieved.
Oh Whiff I feel your pain, that was painful to read! How very nasty of that group to do that to you, when what you should be getting is help, understanding and friendship from them all. Don't go back, not nice people, you are better off without them in your life. I am upset for you Whiff.
I hope you are enjoying your holibobs and are putting this horrid situation behind you. I really can't believe people could be so mean! They need to be very ashamed of themselves and their group as a whole.
Morning all, hope everyone's OK.
Mr. S.came back from a bike ride on Thursday having been forced off a narrow road by some idiot in a van coming toward him and driving too fast 
.
He stopped and asked him if he was OK and told another driver who'd been coming up behind Mr. S. who was also good enough to stop, that he fell off his bike after he'd gone past!!!
Thank goodness he's OK but his right arm's in quite a state and he has a nasty gash on his knee. His gloves which are beyond repair saved his hand from any significant damage.
This is the second time it's happened and I've told him that next time he sees someone coming toward him at speed on a narrow road, he's got to dismount.
He has an electric bike which is so heavy I can barely move it, so it's a good job it didn't land on top of him.
He's out on it at the moment but said he wont go off the site. I can understand him needing to get back on but will be happier when he's back.
He should have been taking part in a golfing competition this morning, but had to withdraw which is a shame as he did so well in the last one; there'll be others but it is a shame.
Morning everyone, it's great to see so many contributions to the new thread.
It's lovely to see your post Jaffacake and to know that you're managing to maintain your relationship with your GC despite your D's behaviour.
I'm so pleased that you have managed to achieve that much needed emotional distance from her which will enable you to protect yourself from her abuse. There is never a 'good' time to be faced with such hostility but you couldn't have been in a worse physical and emotional place when she treated you so badly .
Hello crazy . It's good to know that you continue to manage those difficult family relationships but it can't be easy walking on eggshells in order to maintain equilibrium.
It seems that for some even when the estrangement is over, the fact that it happened remains the 'spectre at the feast'. I hope you can continue to any repercussions at bay .
Hilltop accepting how things are and that they will never change is never easy but necessary for us to be able to rebuild our lives. It's lovely to hear from you and to know that you're following the threads and enjoy our chats.
It's lovely to be told that these threads have been a lifeline Bridey; thank you for saying so and for popping on to say 'hello' .
These threads wouldn't be the same without your lovely rambles Whiff . Saying you're strangers doesn't sound awful because you are. We wouldn't know our GS's if they walked past us and we wouldn't know them either.
Our estranged children have become strangers to us too haven't they. They're not the people we thought they were and we've changed too. We had to in order to survive.
Goodness Yogin so Laila is 16; you must be wondering what she looks like now she's a young lady.
I have my dear friend here from Portsmouth for a few days so will be out and about. She has her Cockapoo Dolly with her which is company for Poppy who like us, misses little Pip.
We could never trust our ES again either Allsorts; once that's been lost it must be almost impossible to get it back 
.
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